She puts forth a lot of effort influencing our kids what a horrible person and unfit parent I am. But when it's convenient for her, she has no problem leaving our kids with this "horrible person" and "unfit parent"! She left a couple of days ago to go on another cruise, and guess who she left our kids with? Me! Oldest daughter decided at the last minute that she was gonna be too busy with other things to keep her younger brother and sister while their mom was gone.
She has become such a selfish and vindictive woman...something that she never was before!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Antlers, you know you have to be a horrible and unfit person in her mind. If you're not then everything she thinks and thought and everything she's done would be......wrong.
And that cannot be.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thanks G. They do paint a darker picture than the one that is actual reality in order to justify their actions! But the pure selfishness, at the expense of the kids, a home, a family...continues to boggle my mind!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Hmmm...I'm kinda busy this morning, but I'll come back and see you after I take care of my errands. Are you in the alt? I'm friends w/ Kerry K and Gypsy.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
I'm not in the alt. I don't do FaceBook or any of those things.
I'm still working on having a different perspective regarding my kids. The welfare of my kids is the most important thing in my life. I've been weak in the past, since their mother left, and have depended on them for some of my emotional needs. That was wrong. They sensed it, and it bothered them. They need me to be a rock. And I need to be a rock. For them. I'm doing better in that regard. I'm learning not to take stuff personal. They've got a lot of stuff going on in their heads now. Puberty, school, their parents are divorcing, the only family and safety and security they've ever known is shattered, etc.. They need me to LOVE them (and all that entails)...they don't need me to be their friend, and I don't need to worry about whether or not they 'like' me either. I've had them for the last 7 nights in a row. Their mom went on another cruise, and made no provisions for them regarding getting them ready for school, getting them to and from school, who they were supposed to stay with, etc.. She's supposed to have them on my work days. She hasn't communicated with me at all regarding any of this. Oldest daughter was, I suppose, supposed to watch them and handle these things on my work days...but she decided, at the last nanosecond, thay she had other things to do that were more important to her. Anyway, we've been doing pretty good since their mom has been gone (a couple of rough spots though). 13 y/o wanted me to take her to the movies last night, so we went and had a good time.
Unconditional love, strength, compassion, and wisdom...these are things I want to emulate 'to' them and 'for' them.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Unconditional love, strength, compassion, and wisdom...these are things I want to emulate 'to' them I must and will embody, personify and model for them.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Unconditional love, strength, compassion, and wisdom...these are things I want to emulate 'to' them I must and will embody, personify and model for them.
Duly noted. Thanks.
The kids are emotional wrecks. Their mom blames it all on me, but really, it's the separation and divorce that has them so whacked out.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Yeah, they need it. They have needed it. Their mother threatened me during the separation not to take them..."You better not take them to counseling." I wanted to reconcile...so I was weak and didn't take them. Now, their mother has done such a job on them, that I think they would refuse to go if I tried to take them. Things are pretty rough right now.
Hard to imagine that we were married, and we had a family.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I was told in a divorce kids model after their parents. I tried to do the best job I could with my explanation.
"You don't hold onto to someone who doesn't want to be there." Their dad had to want to be with us.
Just try your best. Go for counseling. Get in the best possible place to make good decisions.
"The kids will figure it out." Be consistent. Live your ideals. Actions speak louder than words.
Read The Four Agreements. Don't make assumptions, don't take things personally, be impeccable with your word, always try your best. I filter my emotions through those agreements. Getting rid of the crap distills the message.
