Where was I? Mysterious painful malady? Right. That has not returned since, and I'm still not sure what happened. When I began my EMT-B class (another part of my GAL) I learned that latex allergies can be created in people over time with repeated exposure. Since I've been wearing latex gloves as a first responder a few times per week for the past few years, it occurred to me that I could have built up a latex allergy too mild to show up anywhere but the most sensitive skin. It also occurred to me that I might have a borderline allergy that normally wouldn't be symptomatic, but that I had abraded the skin somehow just enough to make the latex more irritating. But I haven't had the same reaction since, and although I switched condom brands, they're still latex. Is a puzzlement.
GAL continues apace. Today I must fix my car, but then back to fixing the house. I'm back on a low-carb diet; I'm having an omelet with chopped beef, onion, mushrooms and my grandma's homemade salsa as I sit here typing this. I'm going out to lunch today, and I'm going to walk across town to get there. It's extremely cold here, but across town is only about a mile or two in my little village and I'm well-adapted for cold environments, much like the majestic polar bear. I've also been writing and volunteering for a couple of primary political campaigns that seem poised to shake up my state. I've become a regular speaker at my local grassroots lobbying group, which is a nice feeling. I'm volunteering with a statewide grassroots group to help bring off a huge demonstration in the state capital in a little over a month, and it's coming together well. It's slightly less hectic this year, since we've done it a few times now, but it grows every year and this year we plan to have thousands again. I've also, as mentioned above, begun my EMT-B training. This is a huge deal for me. I've been what's called a "First Responder" for years, which meant I had the training to do CPR, move patients and drive an ambulance. I did that with the idea of becoming an EMT, but I never did. The best chance to do it came shortly after my wife learned she was pregnant with our youngest, and I put it aside to concentrate on that. You know, it's odd how we talk about motivation and resentment here as if you pick a motivation when you do something, and if your motives aren't pure, you will build resentment. When I chose to forego EMT training, I did it to be there for my family, and at the time it seemed obvious and easy to do. It was only later, as I allowed myself to be guilted out of going back to do the training (it's 110 hours, and yes, it is inconvenient for my wife to have the kids by herself for six hours a day once a week--it's as if I work six days a week) that I began to resent not only the guilt trips and the feeling that I didn't count, but also the original decision to put the training off. I began to resent my wife over a decision I had made freely. When this opportunity came along, I told her I wanted to do it and that I would find a way to make it work for both of us. And I did. To her credit, we had both changed some by then, and although she made a few sighs and still makes occasional comments about me being gone on these days, she quickly accepted that I wouldn't be happy if I didn't take the course and was not willing to put it off any longer. I think she took a look at our son and realized that he's now two years old . . . so she's been putting me off and I've been allowing it for two years. That's long enough.
I recently had a substitute job in a school where the staff was really impressed for some reason, and the principal pulled me aside and talked to me in private about joining them long-term this spring and possibly full-time next year. That would be a huge load off my mind, as it seems like a great place to work and that district pays more than the job I lost last year. It's a bit more of a commute, but it's also in the same city as my gun club and the BJJ school I used to attend. I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but if I did get that job, I'd finish the EMT training in June, then pick up where I left off at the BJJ school during the summer, get caught up and settle in to stopping in after school twice a week. That would be a dream come true, and it seemed like serendipity that I had begun a serious weight-loss program the week before. I do hope it all comes together.
More to come . . . I'm basically just journaling. Next post will talk more about the relationship with my wife and her GAL, but I'm sure this one is long already.
