I was thinking about my brother today - his wife died a few months ago - he didn't tell me and I don't know why but I thought about our sitches. I realized that if my H died I would have to figure out what to do and move forward - so in a way my current sitch isn't too different. I was feeling that I have done so much to make things happen and felt somehow unrewarded until I realized my brother had a good marriage and both were good people and this bad thing happened to them. How am I different that I think things should be ok for me? I think I may be making progress in acceptance. Thanks for listening.
Will probably need reminders this week as I tend to strengthen up over the weekend and fall into a pit during the week when I am faced with my H at work.
Prayer for this week: letting go of what has been to allow the room for what needs to come into our lives.
The SG is the same way. In his prior relationships, once he was done, he was done.
The loss of a marriage is a death ...the death of the marriage. You grieve in similar ways.
The only difference is the SOB is still alive
Seriously, it is similar...and the grieving process is similar. I miss my brother every day, but there is some peace in the knowledge that he is in a better place. Of course, he deserved it.
I think the biggest difference is still having to deal w/ the WAS. Knowing they are out there makes it tougher to accept the loss...regardless of the final outcome.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
My sentiments exactly in part. I have to face him everyday. But the facts are similar - if he doesn't want to be with me then I can't change it. I have to find acceptance. Unlike my bro -who's wife cannot come back - my H can and chooses not to. Not cool with me. But again I have to think that things need to change and it wasn't happening together -so apart who knows.
That's true Kassie. Acceptance is a tough road to come to, and then you vacillate once you get there. Am I doing the right thing? What if I wait a little longer? Do I want to wait a little longer?
The way I deal is through my faith, that if it is meant to be, it will regardless of where my life is. It could be tomorrow, ten years from now, or I may be sent someone who truly becomes the person I was supposed to be with anyway. God works in mysterious ways.
That's not to say I don't question, I think we all do. But sometimes the phrase "let go and let God" is a good example to live by, and makes it a lot less stressful.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
What a great post! I agree with everything you said. It is just hard a times as you know to live by.
I am talking in therapy about what it will take for me to stay in the relationship with my H and whether I can handle doing what it takes. Some weeks I hear things that sound so simple and doable but then I find it is actually hard to live that way. Some weeks I hear things that sound like my therapist is saying it is too hard on me.
All in all, I guess the bottom line is that it is hard - my therapist told me from the start long ago that my H is about as hard as it gets. I wasn't daunted by that at the time, but so often I hear that I don't have to do this. Spiritually if we can talk this way, I think I am being guided to let go and give us each room to grow and then we will either come together or not.
