A few more comments/questions about this post and I'll let it go. Promise.
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She said it was easier for me because we were in the same house.
I'm not sure I understand this.
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She said you never offered me any books.
So she hasn't been listening or really checked in. But I think you knew this - she's been doing what ever it takes to keep this neutral.
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She said I can’t live without them for a whole week, how can you for two.
Very powerful statement. And very judgemental on her part. And as much as I want to be brutally honest here, I just can't. But what I will say is I wish she would just be honest.
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I was thinking every other weekend I stay at the house and every third week I stay here with them. That will give you time away to not have the responsibility of the house and kids and to do things you want to do. Its not fair for you to not have time away and me not to be with them.
You're thinking for her. Laying this plan all out. Think about YOU and what YOU need. Yes think about the kids. But don't 'give her time away'. "It's not fair for you to not have time away". No the truth is "me not to be with them". Don't worry about what she needs or what you can give her. It's up to her to speak up.
I know you want to be kind, fair and for her to be happy. Please consider backing off a little. You're making all the decisions, laying out all the plans for both of you. I got no problem with you informing her of YOUR plans. She's choosen to input very little over the past year - what makes you think she'll step up to the plate now? As a last effort to save you both from separation? Believe me, I was hoping she would and still hold out hope. It may not be before you leave, but I'm hoping this separation will wake her ass up. And then I have that thought in the back of my mind that thinks she may like this just fine. Not much is going to change for her, really....
I worry about being to harsh here. I want to support you, but I worry.
