Ok, he called to say he made it in from his trip this morning at 2. He's coming over now to take me to lunch. I guess we will talk about his trip?
He did ask about the counselor, if I'd found one and when our appointment was so I guess I was suppose to do the leg work?! Anyway, I'll call to set it up...he doesn't have a problem going to a solution based one since I told him that this type are more geared toward action rather than talking about the past and feelings. I'm excited that he still wants to go!!!!
He said he had a horrid trip to florida...lost a tire and rim, got the flu (from me ), drove in rain most of the way, ran into flooded streets, etc. I'm sure he thought about our trip to florida as a family and how nice that was compared to his trip alone .
Pray for me as we go to lunch! I'll let y'all know more when I get back.
A co-worker recommended him to me. It was purely chance that I had told him what was going on with me...a couple of months later I called him on his offer of help and that is when he told me of the counselor. The counselor is with an organization called Reconciliation Ministries. Maybe you could look up that business name in your city directory? LIke you, I had difficulty finding a counselor that was SB...usually I'd inform the counselor that I wanted their help keeping us married before my h came in....you could try that?.
Gosh my head is just spinning with all the positives today!!!!!
1. H set up medical spending account for the year and wants to put my expenses in too! 2. H called to invite me to his office Christmas party...we'll be getting a hotel room for the evening! 3. H called me 5 times this morning!!! 4. Asked me over this evening to discuss Christmas presents for the boys!!! 5. He's available for counseling ANY TIME next week...whatever is most convenient for me!
But some that left me wondering:
1. Invited me to Christmas party said that even if I didn't go he was going! So it didn't matter if I was going or not....he just thought he'd ask me. 2. Invited him to a Thanksgiving party at our mutual friends...he said NO he didn't want to see them.
Now I'm afraid for our kids to see us together so am thinking I won't stay the night tonight or after his Christmas party. I'm kind of scared about the boys seeing us together tonight...don't want to get their hopes up.
These positives almost seem to indicate that he's coming back to me but I'm afraid to believe it. I don't want to get too involved with him just yet....not until we go to some counseling so I know what he's really thinking/feeling about us. I'm extremely wary. I want to tell him how I feel about our boys seeing us together but I'm afraid he'll take it as an indication from me that I don't want an US.
Is this piecing confusing or what!? Seems to me I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't!
Cindy....he may just feel obligated to go to the work Christmas party...don't try to read his mind. What matters is that He asked YOU to go with him. As for the friends, he may feel uncomfortable at the moment around your mutual friends, given the circumstances of your marriage.
As for spending the night, get a babysitter and don't tell the kids what you are doing...they don't need to be privvy to your sex life...but shoot girl, go get you some! He is your H after all...and it could be the combination of holiday cheer and intimacy that brings things really together for the two of you. If it doesn't work...so you slept with your H again...big deal! No shame there.
Don't start second guessing him now....go with the positive...
Or ignore what I've said all together...lol...it's up to you.
Quote: but shoot girl, go get you some! He is your H after all
Nothing beats safe sex with H!!!
You gave me a different perspective on what he said too!
Quote: What matters is that he asked YOU to go with him. As for the friends, he may feel uncomfortable at the moment around your mutual friends, given the circumstances of your marriage.
Both absolutely TRUE! I didn't stop to consider these points before. I just assumed !
Quote: Don't start second guessing him now....go with the positive...
Yes, I'll go with what I know!
I think tonight I'll leave the boys with my friends while I visit my h....that way the kids don't need to be involved in what mommy & daddy are doing .
You are more than welcome! Here's a cute joke I've been sharing with the board...you can use OW or Mother in law...or put anyone else in the second hearse that you'd like...
A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file. The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" The woman walking the dog replied, "My husband's." At which time she was asked, "What happened to him?" The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him." She than was asked, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women when the woman was than asked, "Can I borrow the dog?" "Get in line."
So, now we all need to go pit bull shopping...for Christmas! LOLOLOLOL just kidding, of course.
I agree with Alaska, just let go a bit and don't worry about the "hidden" meaning. Sometimes we get so caught up in looking for signs that things are changing one way or the other, that we forget the moment. That takes our focus off the good DB'ing we want to accomplish.
Keep your expectations at Zero and enjoy the holiday!!
Cindy, Can you ask your counselor if he knows any solution based pro-marriage counselors in San Antonio? I have been to two counselors, one a Christian, both want me to set a timetable then move on. H has not mentioned counseling, but I'd like to have bases covered. Let me know if you find anything out. Thanks a bunch. Happy Thanksgiving.
BTW, I think when they say, "I am going anyway" it lets them think they are not committing anything, just giving you a casual invite. My H has invited me to things, but if I invite him he says no. Again, part of the putting pressure on them (even if we make the invite with no strings attached). Do I get it? No. But just wanted you to know I have heard the same stuff from my H.
We should meet for lunch sometime!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
), drove in rain most of the way, ran into flooded streets, etc. I'm sure he thought about our trip to florida as a family and how nice that was compared to his trip alone 
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