#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

R2C, thanks for the example of boundary-setting. This is clearly not a forte for me.

I want you to write boundaries for the others, and post them here for our review.

H * constantly frowning at me
me: [ignore facial expressions]

H * making complaints about having to work for and pay for the things that our family needs
me: "I appreciate how hard you are working to support us. Is there something specific that you'd like to discuss about finances?"
[no response if he whines more]

H * avoiding speaking to me unless absolutely necessary
me: [can't really set a boundary here?]

H * making an argumentative comment to me while I'm on the phone with my mother
me: "If you have something to say to me, it can wait until after my phone call."

--

Sometimes I think he's trying to "bait" me, to see if he can get me to stop being nice, pleasant, nonreactive. I occasionally call him on things, but briefly and calmly.