Oh, I totally get what you mean and feel. Even now, I can tell you I understand and feel more than I'd like.

Re the nicotine patches, haha I actually went on the gum and thank goodness went off it again.

Me 42
W 39
Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992
First Bomb: Sep 2007
Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007
Kids: D10, S5
Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak.
3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.