Well cutterbug....looks like I will have to take your advise and give 80% as my H cancelled. But I will say that I was prepared for it and handled it quite well. I even surprised myself.
He called me today while at work and asked if there was anyway to get my $ back that I've spent on the trip to come see him on Valentine's Day weekend. I told him most likely not but I'm okay with it. He proceeds to say that he would like to come home to Los Angeles since he will be getting that Friday and Monday off. He says he's home sick and I said, "No worries, it's okay.
I also noticed that he didn't say anything about seeing me since he was so adamant about coming home to Los Angeles that weekend so of course I knew he just didn't want to see me which I accept.
Because even if his real motive was to come home to visit versus me going to Sacramento, he could've suggested we see each other when he get's in but he DID NOT so I accepted his cancellation gracefully despite the inconvenience and the disappointment.
Although, I made a mistake in our marriage I believe in my heart I've done what I could to make a genuine effort to re-establish a friendship but I know it takes two willing partners and he is NOT willing.
That being said have I no choice but to move on with my life and should he decide he wants to try and work on things, we can revisit at that time but for now I see that our marriage is of little importance to him and my efforts mean ZERO.
If it's meant to be...it's meant to be and as of right now....it ain't meant to be so on to the next!
Thanks DB family for your continued support and viewpoints. They have really helped me see things from a different perspective. If nothing else I have better insight to being a better person in general. I would love more than anything to work things out in my marriage but if not I'm sure I have learned a lot that will help me in my future relationships once my divorce is final.
