Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Sandi
I am baffled too with coming home late and the reaction. I wouldn't call it a bad mood, but always disappointment and maybe guilt would be a good word now that I think about it. Like a little kid that knew they shouldn't have taken the toy but did it anyways and then saw the other kid crying and felt bad. So is it a pretense, I don't know.

I know my one friend who knows all the details of our sitch thinks there is no contact any more and he suspected an A with OM long before I ever told him. He works a lot with her and watches her closely. Of course we both admit, she might just be one heck of an actor...today W was discussing with him "our" retirement plans. OM2 I find hard to believe and yes I know never to count anything out, but it would have to be pure on-line meeting, risk too great for her, and she can't afford to get in trouble if she plans on D and making it on her own.

I can be firm. I was fairly firm last night. I can turn that switch to firm on, I do it all the time at work. I will heed that advice. It'll feel good to be firm and I always get positive results when I call her out on being a b!tch. Thanks for the advice and explanation.

I need to figure out how to call her out on neglecting the girls, I've done it before but probably not firm enough. So I got to think how to better approach.

And the rank question: we are the same rank. I "outrank" her by about 8 or 9 months (I achieved this rank 8 or 9 months before her) but currently the same rank. In fact, one of my proudest moments was exactly 1 year ago when she asked me to promote her. I told her this when I was in the begging/pleading stage, and it is true...but probably didn't phase her at all.

Today she has been super friendly to me. And I just made reservations for a 2 night stay at a ski resort for the whole family the weekend after next...

Will see what tonight brings...she just left work...will be home before me for the first time in months.