I had some thoughts on this recently, and reading through MB28's thread reminded me. Looking back at Coach's first post here, it struck methat perhaps boundaries are what makes all relationships, including Ms. It defines the space within which individuals dea with each other.

When a marriage takes place, 2 people are in love, and voluntarily pledge themselves to each other, placing boundaries on themselves individually as signs of this bond, and in assurance of the other; happily accepting general limits on their actions to honor, respect, and cherish the spouse - as a person, a life partner, a soulmate to start new life with possibly. It is a covenant.

When this covenant breaks, when 1 or both are in such misery, they want the M over, they shatter the sanctity, exclusivity, and meaning of the bond, they violate the trust, al bets are off. There is no honor or respect. This is where boundaries need to be laid and enforced by the individual, to protect oneself, to reclaim honor and respect, firstly as a person deserving of such, and then perhaps, for the shattered M, which may stand a chance of re-building upon a new foundations.

Interesting mix of mindsets I thought ...


Me 42
W 39
Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992
First Bomb: Sep 2007
Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007
Kids: D10, S5
Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak.
3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.