I'm amazed...at God answering my and my friends' prayers that the continuance go through. I'm still wondering what will come to pass. I already have the name of a mc so we can get started as soon as h gets back. It's a male mc so my h should be very at ease...i hope.
My thoughts now are to focus on the NEW r and to let the past go. Easier said than done I know but I'm going to approach this as 'dating' someone 'new'. I'm going to aim to not assume, to validate and prayerfully we'll dismiss the hearing in February.
I'm actually not scared this time around...almost like I've finally decided that I can be happy with or without him. I think in my old r that I totally used my h to make me happy. Now that he doesn't do that I'm free to make my own happiness and let him be.
I'm scared though because it is only 90 days but hey God only used 3 days to convert the worst christian persecutor and murderer in the bible...Saul...struck him blind on the road to damascus. Everyone thought he was beyond God but God had other plans. Maybe like my h?...
Thanks for checking on me. You and others here have helped me so much. I send you a big {{{{{HUG}}}} and my prayers for you and your ex.
Thanks for checking on me! I appreciate your feedback on my situation.
I don't think the sleeping together necessarily helps our r but I do think it keeps my h from looking to some else to fulfill that need. It's hard to do though because h did say that sleeping together brings no guarantees. Yikes!
Reading Acorn's post help me. While h is in Florida, I'm going to brush up on my db'ing and pray, pray, pray!
I've decided I won't be sleeping with my h any longer. It is not helping our r progress. Maybe after some counseling sessions, this may change but until then no more.
My h has the best of both worlds...getting his sexual needs met as a married man and acting like he's single. He avoids the relationship and my needs but gets his met. There needs to be some progression before we can become intimate. Anyway he says sex is no guarantee that he'll want to be married to me so I figure it is not to my advantage to be intimate with him. I feel grateful that he wants me and only sleeps with me but I still feel used because his attitude toward me does not change. I'm confused by what to do. I think sex causes him to avoid dealing with the r. He has no idea what the d will be like because he's always had me there.
For what its worth, I think you've made the right decision. Again, it all comes down to loving you the right way. If its in him, he'll understand and show you in other ways, how important you and the M are to him. I'm glad you got the continuance, now you're going to find out know what you've got in him as you both hopefully work this thing out and become a happy family again.
Thanks for checking my thread! i really appreciate your insight on my situation.
Quote: now you're going to find out know what you've got in him
I'm very glad he mentioned counseling and it was not something I brought up. I'm hoping its an indication that he really means to work on our m this time. Hardly any time for squabbling now! I can only pray that this is his heart...to stay married. I continue to wonder why he changed his mind and asked for the continuance....all I can say is God moved that ROCK, because my h's intention seemed to be get the d!
I am so happy for you!! All that worrying and obsessing and things turned out totally different didn't they? Time and time again I see this happening to people here, what they expect or fear the most, turns out to be false.
Hope turns up in the worst times! I found a solution based counselor!!! I'm so excited. He says the purpose of his practice is to keep couples married. He admits to seeing God work miracles with the couples that come in. I can't wait to get started but first I must give this info to my h. I'll go at the angle that it is free and see if he bites.
I'm praying, praying, praying!!! He said he'd call when he got back from his trip either yesterday or today...but no call as of yet. Part of me worries he'll forget about me and not call...the other part dreads answering the phone to talk to him. What will I say? How will I say it?
Be your sweet loving self. Be pleasant, no confrontation, the door to reconciliation is open. Ask god for guidance and wisdom. He does answer our prayers.
All that worrying and obsessing and things turned out totally different didn't they? Time and time again I see this happening to people here, what they expect or fear the most, turns out to be false. 
How will I say it? 