Hi Wired. I'm so glad you decided to try this community b/c I think you will find it to be the best. Don't worry about offending anyone b/c as long as you stick by the board's policies, I don't think it would be a problem.
Your story is so sad, but unfortunately it is common. But you know what? You have woke up and now you see what is the most valuable thing in your life.
BTW, if you broke the cycle of using drugs and have stopped drinking (except for a couple of beers) then that tells me you must be a very strong willed person. I think it takes a lot of guts to do that. You can do this DBing too! Have you read the DR book? That would be a good place to start.
You may feel a lot of panic right now b/c she is talking about D. You don't want to lose her, and that's normal to be scared. The point is not to let your fear show to her. It's not attractive. Neither is any begging, pleading, that sort of thing.
Are the two of you still living under the same roof?
I believe if you will make up your mind that you are going to continue to improve yourself and be the best "you" that you can be, she'll be attracted to that. It won't happen over night, and that's what will be hard on you. If you will not try to hold onto her and let her do what she wants to do, and you just focus on becoming a great dad (women love that) and being a great man......she'll notice.
Take pride in yourself and how you look and act around her. Act as if you've had an awakening and that you are going to enjoy live and be your best every day. I know that may sound kind of cheesy, but it works. This isn't just about busting a D, but we support people in trying encourage them to make their lives happier and coming through this mess a stronger person.
So, I hope you'll try to post every day b/c it really does help to talk about it. Read the other threads b/c you'll be better informed.
Take care of yourself....that's important.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
