It's interesting that when I think of an ultimatum, or solid boundaries, the confusion goes away and I can focus and think straight.
When it's any other way it just gets VERY muddled up.
I feel really bad that the person I have cared for the most, for the majority of my life is not able to see what is going on, or what part she plays in it all.
If you met her at work or someplace, you would (like most people do) think she is just fine and one of the nicest persons you'd ever know. As normal as anyone. (If you were a player you'd probably notice right off she is vulnerable/available.)
But if you have much of a personal relationship, you would find you just have a hard time really getting close and her to be very inconsistent with her behavior.
The closer you are, the more evident it is.
Thanks to all who have responded! And yes-it IS frustrating at times when you need a lifeline and nobody throws one. So many thanks to all of you for giving your opinions. I'm not sure what exactly is the right thing to do at this time, but I have a much better sense of the direction I should be going.
