#2: WAH separated from us & I'm on the DBing path

[flowmom]

Thanks CG and rr.

Do not send that e-mail!

OK, I won't. Maybe it helped just to post it here to get it off my chest. I need a way to express this stuff, but not to him.

That is not how to set a boundary and the e-mail seems like a long laundry list of "wrong doings" on the part of your H.

I can see how it could be read that way. I'm just sick of being treated like a piece of s--t attached to H's shoe, as if I stink and he he can't get rid of me.

You said your DB Coach suggest you focus on positives yet you want to send him a message that points out negatives.

Good point.

If your H speaks to you in a rude/harsh tone of voice let him know WHEN IT IS HAPPENING in a calm way.

I'll try to do that.

Same with the problem of his comments while you are on the phone or his complaints about money.

Not sure how to call him on the whining about money? He made some bitter comment about being the "funding agent" the other day. WTF? He spends as much time with his children as he wants, and me and the kids are financially dependent on him -- his choosing to abandon our marriage doesn't suddenly make his responsibilities go away. But I think this is what a lot of this is about: me being scapegoated for the challenges of special needs parenting, the stress of providing for a family, and his own issues that have nothing to do with me.

Sorry that was just a vent.