undefeated thx for the reply...my story is kind of all over the place but here is a quick overview:
Dated: 1999 through July 2008 (long distance the entire time)
While Dating: Husband and I both had a few instances of straying (just sex) but my last time cheating was 2004. We were starting to get serious and talk about our future. I told hiim about it, he took it hard but forgave me.
Dec 2005 through Feb 2007: Husband cheated on me and started a relationship with a girl from his college. They had broke it off and I didn't find out about their relationship until she ended up pregnant. She didn't tell my husband (then boyfriend) for several months because she moved back to her homestate.
August 2007: Husband proposes to me
Sept. 2007: Husband finds out about OW being pregnant
Oct 2007: Husband tells me about OW being pregnant...he was scared, etc. We start counseling to determine if we should still get married, can I handle this, how to deal with this betrayal, etc.
Jan 2008: step-son is born. husband and I are still in counseling but have built a better relationship and worked out a parenting plan and how contact with OW would be handled and visitation with son.
April 2008: our last counseling session. We are tighteer than ever but I still bring up OW from time to time given certain triggers.
July 2008: we marry (still living long distance)
Sept 2008: Find out I am pregnant
Nov 2008: husband and I go visit his son for the first time and I meet OW. We are cordial with each other and even hug each other goodbye. later on find out that husband feels like he has unresolved feelings from the relationship but assures me that it is just feelings that he will deal with. I become insecure and start bringing up their old relationship again.
Dec 2008: husband moves to my state.
Xmas 2008: husband's job wants us to relocate to a state where we know no one.
Jan 2009: husband starts new job at company and we relocate 6 hours from our fam and friends
Jan 2009: find text messages between husband and OW. I was supicious due a change in attitude from husband. I confront him and her(via phone) and told them to stop. husband is angry about my snooping and says he feels trapped.
Jan 2009 - Oct 2009: off an on me leaving to go to homestate because he needs space and I need support to take care of newborn without all the stress.
Oct 2009 - I leave for a month after husband goes to visit OW and brings his son back to stay with us without even telling me beforehand. During month away my husband says he misses me, calls all the time. I come back and we are good for a week until we see our marriage counselor. Husband retreats back to cold distant self after i cried in marriage counseling because he said he still wanted a divorce.
Nov 2009 - OW sends a love letter to my husband on his birthday about how she is happy this is his last bday apart from her.
thanksgiving 2009 - husband goes to see son and OW. doesn't tell me and just jets out thanksgiving morning christmas 2009 - husband goes to see son and OW again.
Jan 2010 - i leave for 3 weeks but had planned on staying away longer but didn't feel like running anymore. came back to our apt and decided to act as if and drop the rope. I made an appointment for mediation to husband's suprise and wrote a letter to end our lease so that husband can stop threatening me with leaving in april to get his own place. now he has no choice!!
sorry so long but that is our entire history summed up
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
