Thanks for the note of encouragement. I find myself wanting to cling to the lunch date as an attempt by him to stop the d but I can't do that...my heart can't take another let down.
With 7 days remaining, I can only wait until the final hearing to see if he'll agree then to the continuance. I don't plan to ask anything related to the r or even mention r unless he initiates...and it better be something BETTER than me spending the night with him!!! at this point.
Yes it is hard to let go. I can't belieive I'm going to be d on Monday!!! I wish he would stop this train or maybe I should? Haven't decided. Most folks tell me I give h too much power because no matter what he does I'm still HERE!!!
I just have no idea what I'm going to do! And I have 6 days left.
Met my h at the soccer practice tonight. Didn't say anything to me but asked son if he'd like to come spend the night Saturday night after the soccer game (this so h doesn't have to make 2nd trip to pick up boys on Sunday for regularly scheduled visitation).. Sons don't want to go Saturday night so I phoned h to let him know. He asked to speak to sons...1st son gets on calmly tells h he doesn't want to go...h keeps going on and on. My son gives me the phone while h is still talking and says I told dad no but he keeps going. So I get on phone tell h what's up...son said no why are you still going. He said that it was because I fill their heads with crap is why they don't want to be with him...I say yeah that's all I have to do is sit around here and talk about you. I also said I'm sorry you feel that way but the boys told you their decision in answer to your questions so there you go. I said it is totally logical to me that they go home with you after the game but the boys don't want to and that is their decision. Sorry. He was quite pissed but I validated though his blaming me was pissing me off big time! He said finally that I better have them there at 8am on Sunday and don't be f*****g late! I said ok, ok, ok, hung up.
I know what his problem is...it is pride. He doesn't want to admit he's wrong, that he KNOWS what he should do but doesn't want to be told by a woman...he'd rather sacrifice his kids and wife to save face. He knows he's hurting us but doesn't care enough to do anything about it. Boy, does that fire me up!
And to think I so wanted to be back with him...was bawling my eyes out when I realized he's not ever going to change.
My ex had said a lot of really horrible and bad things to me. We feel in out heart why are we being put thru this. Well, there is no answer for that. They will say and act in ways that we never expected. It is always easier looking at someone elses sitch and giving advice. For me the best thing has been to accept what has happened and start living for myself. If my ex likes this new me (actually the old me) then she will want me back, if someone else doesn't come along while she is deciding. If so, and I am happy, then it becomes her loss. Hang in there, before you do or say anything, step back and try to look at the sitch from a unpartial point of view.
My heart bleeds. It is hard to see myself without him should we get d on Monday. I can only ask God to make it plain at the hearing what I should do should the continuance not go through. I have a prayer meeting tomorrow.
Thanks for your help. I appreciate you bolstering my spirits during this dark time.
I'm breathing shallowly so I don't start SCREAMING! I don't want the d but he won't say stop it!!!! Oh, I'm frustrated with him, I could just rip his head OFF.
But hey back to reality , the d is 5 days away I want to run away. don't want to be there, don't want to hear him say he doesn't want to be married to me anymore, etc. Oh that the judge will grant the continuance!
As for the weekend, haven't thought that far ahead. I worry about tonight and what I will do to stay busy. Thanks for worrying about me...knowing someone knows what I feel like helps me. Cause I see where you are now and I'm encouraged someone made it out of the limbo land I'm in .
I too did not want the D, my ex did. I hoped until the last day that she would drop it. We dated and ml, but the D was to be. Me and Ex would probably be back together now, but I let my jealousy and dependence on her for my happiness get in the way. Keep praying, God knows what is right, and if its his will then you and H, me and Ex will all be back together. Most times we think these things should be resolved in days and weeks, but in reality it takes months if not years.
Well I'm the one holding the reins on this d. It's one I filed. Maybe my h is waiting for me to drop it? He's just so confusing because when I asked to drop it he said no. Should I even bother listening to him!? He acts like he's crazy! one minute saying it's over then the next taking me to lunch!!!!
, the d is 5 days away I want to run away. don't want to be there, don't want to hear him say he doesn't want to be married to me anymore, etc. Oh that the judge will grant the continuance!
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