Is this piecing?

[Freckle6]

Hope, is it that big of a deal to go along with his idea? Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but he'll at least see that you can listen and work with him as a team instead of as adversaries. I think you're right that any time you have a different opinion, he feels the need to prove his side but cutting down your opinion. He can't seem to grasp that for some things there isn't a right or wrong way, just many different ways. That is his thing to figure out though.

For what it's worth, I think the whole potty training thing is nearly 100% biology and developmental. My 5.5 year old refused anything to do with the potty until he was a month shy of 4--wouldn't sit on it or even talk about it (he could read short words by then, but was still in diapers!). I didn't push it because I knew he would do it eventually. I've yet to meet an adult that isn't 100% potty trained that doesn't have a significant neurological reason.

All of a sudden one day he peed on the potty out of the blue and from then on never had an accident and I've never had even remind him to go potty. Poop took a couple more months to master, but he did. I figured night time would be totally off the radar for a long time. This was a kid who always wore Huggies night diapers in the next size up and more often than not still woke up soaked through. After a few months I realized that his diapers were staying dry more often than not. When they were dry for a week straight I put him in undies and for 2 nights woke him before I went to bed. But I got lazy and stopped that and he's never wet the bed once and he sleeps for 12 hours each night. I don't take any credit for "training" him at all. It was all him and his body being ready.

Still, I'd humor your H for a month or so and see. It's win-win for you. If it works, you don't have to buy diapers any more! If it doesn't, you get points for trying it his way (and you get to gloat to yourself that you were right! LOL).

Over the years I've bitten my tongue with H and his parenting style often. I saved the "you will absolutely do this my way" for one thing so far and that was to do with carseats. I'm very anal about carseat safety and put my foot down in regards to keeping S rearfacing until he was nearly 3 and keeping him in a harnessed seat as long as possible. I asked him to please humor me on this because I wasn't budging and since it was a safety issue he'd look like an ass for arguing against the safest practice. Technically, he could have refused and I couldn't have done a thing about it, but he did give in and I think it was in part because I don't turn everything else into a "my way or your way" fight.

Just something to think about. Together or apart, these are things you'll have to work out over the years. Most of them won't be hills worth dying on. Save your vetos for the things that end up really mattering and I promise it'll be a lot less stressful. Probably particularly so if you do reconcile because he'll be more involved day to day.