Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Rocked/Lost - thanks for the perspective. The only tough spot for me is the fact that touch is her primary and she claims she doesn't want me touchng her. But I can ususally get in a gentle hand on the back or shoulders. I love the child analogy.
And I do so wish my W would read the 5LL book...some real good stuff in there for her also.

Things got back to a relative calm last night. We ordered some takeout, we just grabbed two forks and ate it out of the same container, and although she wasn't overly friendly she wasn't mean and disrespectful rest of the night either.

I really have to agree with you all that the stage seems to be set for a potential crisis time, if not crisis, at least significant turmoil:
- Suspect I will hear something about the Hawai job this week...as much as I would like to pretend it doesn't exist, it still lingers
- W has no excuse to work ridiculous hours consistently, her job just got a lot easier
- W might be dealing with emotions of giving up the extra work that she enjoyed (and probably helped her not deal with things/M/R/etc)
- If she is still in contact with OM, now she will have much more time to do so
- Drastic mixed messages/mood swings this weekend
- We are still pressing ahead with plans for a two or three day/night family ski weekend in two weeks (happens to be valentine weekend). This will be the first night we spent together outside the house in well over a year...the kids will be there (otherwise she'd never agree to it), but still, it will be a change in environment/atmosphere
- We will be spending lot of public time together...social functions both Fri and Sat night...Sat night with kids

W already told me last night that I could back to old routine...those weren't the exact words, but that was the message...routine prior to May of last year. I asked her what she meant by that and her response is she will now have plenty of time on her hands and I can leave early for work and stay late.

I knew this would come up, I was ready. These are some critical weeks for me to demonstrate the changes. I very nicely/calmly said I don't need to change anything. I've been getting everything done that needs to be done, nothing is falling behind at work, things are running smoothly, I don't see me changing things. I appreciate the offer and its nice to know that if I am having a crazy day that I have this option, but I don't think it'll be necessary.

Then I stuck to my word this morning. We did our P90X workout and W asks me if I want to get in the shower first...I knew where she was headed with that. I simply said no, it has been working out real well when you get in the shower first. She did. I then left at the same time I have been, W did not, she hung around a little longer, but she certainly noticed I didn't alter things. One way or another, I will leave work around what has become my new normal time tonight.