Don't really have any relational observations or advice for you (not that you ever agreed with most of mine anyway), but just wanted to say that anyone with this lying around:
Originally Posted By: SmileysPerson
So there he is, Smiley's Person Himself, in a kitchen redolent of sourdough and cedar chips, with a case of assorted wines to be sorted into the pantry, and a 'fridge full of various and sundry leftovers from various Weber-grill-related experimentations.
is okay in my book.
You're also, you realize, quite mad, but at least you have a lot of friends in your madness, and Themselves who clearly love you.
OK, so I lied. I do have one observation. When your wife listens to this:
Quote:
Fast-forward 30 minutes more -- minutes 1-20 were me basically laying down The Law on her getting Squared Away on the parenting (take a class, go to co-counseling with The Boy, whatever it takes -- whether you wanted to be or not "for real," you're The Mother now, and you need to Step Up your game) and minutes 20-30 were me laying down The Law on the nastygram phone calls, etc. (don't tilt your head at me like you don't know what I'm talking about -- you know you do these things, and it's going to stop).
She hears:
"If I call him in crisis, he will come. Bearing goodies, no less. And he will be kind."
Your wife is in crisis at the moment. And people in crisis cognate on very BASIC levels. I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that you can say "Three" as much as you want, but your wife is putting together 2 and 2, and all she's hearing is "Four."
Wow, Florence Nightingale. Eventually she will remember why she married you. I don't envy the two of you having the difficult son this early in the game. People used to console me while mine was growing up by saying that they grow out of that stage. And he did, at about his 24th birthday. The future Mrs. X will have to come up with a better solution than hiding in the car.
Unfortunately, she is in the unenviable role of substitute parent. It's a lot like substitute teacher. The kids, or in this case, kid, doesn't think he has to listen to the sub. The sub has no authority.
Unfortunately, she is in the unenviable role of substitute parent. It's a lot like substitute teacher. The kids, or in this case, kid, doesn't think he has to listen to the sub. The sub has no authority.
whoa--startlingly accurate post, remarkable succinctness. as a school nurse, I am an expert in the sub syndrome, and I concur.
let me point out that I am offering my expert opinion here in spite of being broken hearted about not making the short list of "hotties" in your earlier post, Smileyguy....
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
At the end of the day, I think I'm just a nice guy.
As a reforming 'Nice Guy' that has other connotations here.
What is your motivation for being a nice guy?
If it's because your looking for some outcome, or to change something to your benefit, that's not a good one...
If it's because your compassionate about someone else circumstance, and do something without looking for something in return, or simply as a gift of caring, then that is another thing entirely.
It's hard to tell from your posts at times...
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
@Iwantitowork~all compassion, dude. Didn't expect a D impact, didn't want a D impact (except with respect to the nastystuff), didn't produce a D impact (in fact, got her counter-offer this afternoon, and I'm good with that). Told Miss Someone all about it, and she was practically swooning on the phone from Pike City where she's visiting friends ~ and that's ALL good, yo.
@Kett - that was by no means an exhaustive list. @Gypsy and @DQ were the most recent participants in the Saga.
I love that word. Highly underused.... 
