I wouldn't single out Jack because although he does give great advice he is not the only one on this board who gives good advice.
Neither would I. Ever. Thanks Pilot, btw.
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1) Should I continue to wear my weeding ring? She does not. 2) Should I continue to sleep in the same bed with her? 3) I have read on various posts that sometime one should go dark. At what point does one do this? 4) W is not spending any money, which is contrary to most MLCers' so could she just be WAS? 5) I am not sure if the EA w OM is still ongoing - should I try and find out? 6) Should I flirt at all? I have the past few days and it at least gets me a smile but I am not sure if that is what I should be doing.
1 - Do for you what you want for you. Not to make her feel or think a certain way. Do not do something to trick her or provoke her.
2 - Again do for you...but as a guy, expect NOTHING. This is hard, we tend to get cranky and upset when nothing is happeneing. To that end, take matters into your own hand.
3 - Dark is to protect you from her bulshit, her drama and to prevent you from reacting poorly to it. I do not think it is a good idea to go dark if you are interacting in good ways. Going drak protects their memories of you being a good husband as well. Instead of a raving lunatic if you let her actions/words provoke you.
4 - It is possible. Is she confused, or are her words and deeds confusing you? If she is sending mixed messages, then she likely is not a WAW, from my experience. If she doesn't fully know what she wants then again...not likely a WAW.
5 - Up to you. Hope for the best expect the worst. And REALLY...EXPECT the worst, if you do, you should have a plan of how you are going to act and what you are going to say. At least an idea.
6 - Up to you, but expect little if nothing in return. Showing a lighter side to you cannot hurt, unless you are expecting something in return. Do not base your self esteem off of her current reactions.
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Yes, I do love her and yes I feel bad for her but I need to consider my kids and my life as well. Thoughts?
Kids... Kids are the cross we hold up to our maryterdom. WE'd be fine with all of this if not for the sake of the kids.
Is she a bad parent?
No...likely not.
I love her...but...
Do you?
It is really hard to DB a marriage if you have a eye to your needs and security.
There is no guarentee.
Commit to one course of action or the other.
Trying to do both will lead to failure.
Would she be here if this was your MLC?
Can you outlast her crisis?
For better or worse? In sickness and in health?
Better and in Health are the easy ones man...hell ANYONE can do that, right?
But worse and in sickness...
Aye, there's the rub.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
