I had breakfast with my mom this morning she was in for a meeting and wanted to talk to me about moving out. Amazing how perceptive she is. She said she knew my W and I were having problems several years ago because of how we interacted but the last couple of months or so we seemed to be doing so much better she figured we worked it out.
I told her the condensed version of the last 6-7 years of our marriage leading up to today. She did not need to know all the gory details but having gone through two failed marriages herself she understood exactly what I was saying.
She was more concerned how I was going to handle it. She did not want me to be bitter over this and hold a grudge for the next 30 years as my dad has done. I told her that 3 years ago I probably would have but I am so different now that I could never do that.
She of course like most people did not believe what an a** I was. I told her it was true. I was unhappy, I hated my job, my relationship with my w and I blamed her for everything. I know different now I also know that she is just as much at fault as I am so I don't take all the blame. We fed off each other till I broke the cycle. Now were now in another cycle and I need to do what is best for me and move out to give us both space to think.
I told her I was not doing this to make my W do something. I was doing it fo me. I thought about the other but its not the reason.
I want nothing but the best for my W and I trully do want her to be happy. Life is what it is and being misrable over this hurts noone but me and the kids. I will not do that to them. I hated having family get togethers with the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Been there also done that won't do it.
Funny thing is she told me She felt better after talking with me. You would think it should be the other way around but I am doing ok right now. 28 days from now I may not be but I can deal with that in 28 days.
She also told me that she cares about my W. 22 years is a long time and thinks of her as a daughter and hopes that it's all right with me. She said the mom of my step dad was wonderful when they D and that is how she would be if ours came to that also.
She is the most amazing, wonderful person I ever met. Never giving out advice, there to listen, always understanding and never speaks badly about anybody even when one of her kids is hurt by them. She knows it's just life and things like this happen. I love her very much.
