I think my h has a personality disorder...he has no idea of right or wrong, nor a conscience. My boys do not want him to come home; they say he has not changed since moving out. My friend who has known my h and I for 4 years and she says:
Quote: There is no happiness with Jeff. It never existed except when you or he were drinking or when you pretended that he had actually done something nice. He has a true personality disorder and you are never going to change him. It's ok to love him but it's plain cruelty to make the children share a home with him. Jeff does not know how to relate to other human beings and seems to have no sense of right and wrong, no conscience.
He will not change. None of the lies that you can tell yourself will make a marriage with him possible. A marriage is NOT one person pretending to be happy, you've already tried that remember? Yes, divorce is always sad and normal people can usually work through their problems but this does not apply in Jeff's case. Anyone who tells you otherwise does not know Jeff.
I'm begging you please, for the sake of your children to get the divorce. Be strong, you CAN do this. You have the support of your family and friends and numerous counselors and even ministers!
It's not something I want but may be what I need. I've been very clear with h about not wanting the d, I've even written it out but has made no difference...yeah he'll call maybe once a week, have a change of heart but then we are right back to him wanting the d. He says one thing but does another. He doesn't know who he is...the man even assumes the likes of people he's around, can't make up his own mind.
I'll continue to db and should my h want to come home I'll be waiting there with open arms. I just can't be with someone that continues to straddle the fence of being married or being single but married.
