My Story...possible "grass is greener" scenario?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I don't think there's anything I can do here.

[nsw1222]

I don't think there's anything I can do here.

are you saying that the info I added doesnt make a difference...or that you dont know what to tell me based on the new info...or are you so flabbergasted by my reaction to my phone ringing that you think I'm hopeless?

[gucci loafer]

You can answer emails and phone calls. You can ignore emails and phone calls.

It isn't whether you answer them or not BUT whether you PRESSURE them.

NO PRESSURE...NONE...

Answer if you want... Get to the business at hand. Be polite. and then hang up...

Short, polite, hang up..



You have spent so much time in panic today that you have failed to see that she has contacted you about 5 times today.

NOTICE that she is contacting you and you are NOT giving her much back in terms of emotions.. (which means that not chasing her today is working)


Ok... NO apology about the other night. LET IT GO... No apology. It is over and done with. How can she get over it or forget about it if you keep bringing it up with apology number 14, then 15, then 16 and so on??... LET IT GO...


ONE more thing... Do NOT send her a card for having a wisdom tooth removed.. I have never heard of such a thing... Should we send our wives a get well card for breaking a nail? stubbing their toe???..


DO NOT send that card. I don't care if you don't use the word love or if it is sent as a friend. Don't send it. When is the last time you sent your mailman a card for having a tooth pulled? Geez.....

Quit trying to get us to think you are doing things for other reasons. It is PURSUIT. PLAIN AND SIMPLE PURSUIT... You are trying to disguise it under another reason. Don't be a fool..
No card for wisdom tooth extraction.. Total nonsense and will make you look more desperate than when you showed up unanounced the other night and caused a scene.

You are turning into a pest if you don't get this under control...

Listen to us and do WHAT WE SAY and stop questioniing. Just do it. It will make sense later.

[nsw1222]

Alright...I wont send the card.

I was a bit of an ass this morning when she came to get our daughter. After thinking about all that was said and done and the way she reacted to things, I've decided that her relationship with the OM started well before she left me, which means even if it isnt cheating now it was then.

I was extremely angry about that, and I let it push me into being a little hateful. She ended up saying something to me about not having to be rude and I said back to her that she didnt "have to be rude to me either but whatever".

She was annoyed that I didnt answer the phone last night or respond to her text message letting her know her tax form was here. I told her I was busy. She wanted to know when I was gonna get the taxes done and I told her I didnt know.

She ended up sending me a text message later to tell me that her sister was gonna pick our D up on Friday and help her out while she was incapacitated due to her teeth extraction.

I didnt really respond when she sent it, but I ended up sending her a message asking her to bring all her tax forms over when she came to drop our D off and to come early so we could discuss them. She said ok after questioning what I wanted to discuss, and asked me if I got the message about Friday.

I said I did and that it was fine. But then I slipped and showed concern for her by saying that I was glad she was gonna have someone to take care of her.

To be honest I really wanted her to come over early because I had initial thoughts of asking her if she was happy with the way things were between us (as opposed to how they were before Friday). But my family talked me out of that...mainly because if she says "yes" she is happy then that will make me feel like crap and show her that she still has control over me.

Oh well...at least I talked to somone before I went and did it this time. If only I had done that on Friday....

[nsw1222]

By the way...should I ask for her keys to the house back?

[Steve McQueen]

WHY? in the world were you apologizing? WHY?

She says she is going to bed; some other guy is over; 2 + 2 = 4.
Are you upset that you gyped them out of an extra 15-20 minutes of foreplay? Is that why you were apologizing to her?
Were you hoping your apology was going to help her see the "light." Maybe feel a little remorse? A little guilt?

"I am sorry baby, I am so sorry, please forgive me. I didnt mean it. I wasn't thinking. I love you." BAH!

To me it seems like you are asking for forgiveness for interrupting her orgasm. Something doesn't seem right about that.

And sure she is going to be angry at you. You ruined the mood.
God Man. You ruined the mood for your girlfriend and another man!!!! Not Good.

I dont see you writing that she is apologizing to you? I am not sensing she cares too much about YOUR feelings from what you write. That I would hope would be a greater concern of yours right now.

And what the heck were you thinking talking divorce busting with some guy who is poking your wife????? I cant even begin to understand that.

It upsets me that there are people out there (like the OM) who would take advantage of my sitch and possibly keep my family broken up. It upsets me that someone my SO had known for 4 or so months had higher value/priority than someone she's been with for over 7.5 years. How can things work out that way?

It is the way things go sometimes. There is no need for an answer. But there is a definite need for you to STOP asking it.

I think you need a new approach to your Divorce Busting.
Have you considered you may look like a more attractive package if you were not so apologetic about sharing your woman with another man. Dump any woman who does not want to be exclusive?

[nsw1222]

Well...it's over. I made sure to that.

She came over to talk about taxes...I ended up asking a question about why she lied to me about the OM, and the can of Worms was open then.

She told me that sometime last week she and the OM decided to move beyond "just friends". I dont know if I believe that or if they were already more...but I asked her how she could continue to hang out with me on Thursday and Friday if she had decided to see him. I think all she could say was she's sorry.

I went on to insult OM and saying I would always see him as a homewrecker that kept our family from being together. I told her that one day when our daughter wondered why she had problems in school, with relationships, behavioral issues, teen pregnancy, etc. that she would know it was because she didnt grow up in a stable and loving family with both parents.

I told her that things didnt have to be like this between her and I, not getting along and such, and she had the power to end all this if she would just give things a chance. She said I had millions of chances over the past 7 or so years and I blew them.

I asked her for her keys back and she said she wouldnt do it until I gave her half the value of the house.

She went on to say again that we're done and we've been done...why couldnt I just accept it and move on.

As she was leaving, I told her there would be no more phone calls or text messages unless our daughter was critically ill. She said "I cant call to say goodnight to my daughter?" and I said "no and I wont expect a call to say goodnight to her either".

It felt good...but then about 30 mins later I wanted to apologize. So far I havent called her. But I know its over. As much as it hurts, I dont want to be with someone who wouldnt sincerely give me another chance and who would break up our family for another man.

In this case...D does mean done.

[pearlharbr]

I haven't seen any women post here in a while so thought I'd chime in with my two cents...

This thread is like a train wreck. I know it's full of carnage but I can't help looking.

I'm not at all surprised to hear that your ex's OM is older. That alone should signal you that she wants a real man, not a boy. FWIW, you sound pathetic to me and there's no way I would be interested in reconciling or being with a pushover. Then you flip flop and become a rude jerk. Not at all attractive either.

The only way to salvage this sitch is to work on yourself and become a better man. Everyone has told you that but you refuse to do it. Instead you continue to obssess about your ex and what you want her to do or not do.

Puppy and gucci are the best. You're lucky they and other great posters have taken time to post to your thread and offer advice. You're foolish not to follow it.

Sorry to be so blunt but it feels like you need it. And yes, I do know what I'm talking about. I followed their advice and ended up in a position to decide if I wanted to take my BF back or not.

[nsw1222]

Thanks for the 2x4 pearl but I'm not sure I really need it. As I said I think I'm pretty much done with her.

I did everything I could to try and get her back and she fought me at every turn. I really shouldnt have even been doing that given her bailing on our family and choosing to be with another man.

I'm sick of her saying she gave me chances when she didnt really. As I told her, she didnt choose to sit down and talk to me like an adult but instead chose to make threats as her way of forcing change.

So maybe I'm better off without her. We really shouldnt love someone who hurts us so badly.

[pearlharbr]

I wrote my post before seeing your last update.

I went on to insult OM and saying I would always see him as a homewrecker that kept our family from being together. I told her that one day when our daughter wondered why she had problems in school, with relationships, behavioral issues, teen pregnancy, etc. that she would know it was because she didnt grow up in a stable and loving family with both parents.

Glad to see you're still being a jerk. And you wonder why she chooses OM over you?

I told her that things didnt have to be like this between her and I, not getting along and such, and she had the power to end all this if she would just give things a chance.

So then you switch to pursuit which you know will only make the sitch worse. Smart.

She said I had millions of chances over the past 7 or so years and I blew them.

I asked her for her keys back and she said she wouldnt do it until I gave her half the value of the house.

She went on to say again that we're done and we've been done...why couldnt I just accept it and move on.

Of course she did. Why would you expect anything different?

As she was leaving, I told her there would be no more phone calls or text messages unless our daughter was critically ill. She said "I cant call to say goodnight to my daughter?" and I said "no and I wont expect a call to say goodnight to her either".

So you're now punishing your daughter because you felt like lashing out. Good. You're certainly doing your part to see that all those misfortunes fall on your D3 because you can't work on being a good coparent.

It felt good...but then about 30 mins later I wanted to apologize.

That sounds par for the course.

As much as it hurts, I dont want to be with someone who wouldnt sincerely give me another chance and who would break up our family for another man.

Ok, that part I agree with.

I did everything I could to try and get her back and she fought me at every turn.

Nope. I call BS. You certainly did NOT do everything you could because people here gave you a very clear plan of action that you did not follow.

And now I, like your ex, am done here because judging from your past and current actions I'm certain you won't change your ways.