Not Me Ever...part 3

[Serenity13]

(((Gardener)))

I appreciate your point of view as you know and somewhere in me knows that you are right...

This month will be 1 year since this started...

I feel so much further along then he is for some reason - As stated before, the taller I stand, the lower he sinks.

I told his Mom last night, this could have all been avoidable had he had the balls to tell me he was unhappy, instead he took the most destructive path for his own selfishness...

Most of what has happened is forgivable - What I have a very hard time forgiving is the way our youngest S has been treated.

I know that we are supposed to forgive for ourselves and I know that is what God would want me to do however each time I look at that little boy and see the devastation caused to him, I want to go postal on my H.

I want to go to his apartment with a rusty scapel and cut off his balls one at a time and then for good measure, pour rubbing alcohol on his wounds....I want him to feel an 8th of the pain he has caused my son.

However I am not a vindictive person so that would never happen.

This is what makes me just sick -

The sense of entitlement, vindictiveness and outright rewriting of history.

Can I get an AMEN!