He was at the soccer field when I got there. I walked up to him and tried to kiss him hello. He turned his face away and said I don't think so. I said well what is the problem? He said you know. I said can we walk over there and talk so we are not in the hearing range of the boys? He said no, what for? I said so you got the continuance? He said yes...how come I lied. I said I didn't lie I told you 2 weeks ago I didn't want the d and would file the continuance or dismiss. He said I did not. I said I did because I remember every other horrible thing you said to me that night how could I forget what positives I said!
I asked how can you be mad at the continuance? It's not like I'm sleeping with some om while I'm trying to fix my m. I said you act like you are the only one that has been hurt or lied to. What about when you were dating ow and sleeping with me...wasn't I lied to, treated wrongly? But I forgave you, came back to try again. Even just this weekend...after all the mean stuff you told me here I am again trying to work on this with you. You tell me I have to get over the wrong things you do to me well can't you get over me filing for the d last year and just move onto a new r with me? I said do you think it's fair to hurt us like this? To have us come over act like its on then turn around and be mad that I want more time for MY m and call the family quits? You are not showing the boys how to handle a relationship and totally showing them how to disrespect woman. This roller coaster ride with you is just too much. (I was totally calm as I said all this....like that makes it better .)
During that whole time he acted like I wasn't even there! Looking everywhere but at me. Finally I said ok so if you want this d then you can pay the remaining costs. That got his attention...he said hell no because it was MY divorce not his!!! And I should pay all my attorney fees. I said well ok then I'll have the judge make the ruling he said you can't do that. I said I'm the one with the attorney I think I would know what the legal system will let me do...after all this is my divorce I can do what I want. He said no you can't and I'm not paying for your d. I walked away. Then I noticed he was getting into my van so I hurried over there and told him to get out of it. I told him that I loved him but could not understand how he could hurt the boys and I like this...by making us a family one day then calling it quits 2 days later! I said I don't think you realize how you are hurting them and me. He said well if that is the case then YOU should not have filed for the d! I finally blew my top and said you know what you are one F****d up dude! And I"m so tired of hearing how this is my fault for filing! You are right I can't be happy with you, you can't be a husband, you can't be a father and you have no balls to even say ILY to your own kids.
He got in his car at that point and drove away.
Well I guess that it is finally over as far as the paper work goes. We are getting the d. I can't do anything right by this man...he's totally upset because he sees me as filing the continuance behind his back....though I distinctly remember telling him quite clearly!!!!! 2 weeks ago. I can't make any headway because he conveniently forgets things I say.
I don't see any way out of the d now. I just screwed up royally!!!
