Thanks maynard. I feel it is my karma, my debt to repay the pain I caused. It doesn't make his A ok or justifiable. I have had others think that is my meaning. But they are separate matters to my way of thinking. I could as easily feel little or no pain at all now and move on with my children and my life.
I am, indeed, holding out for my H. I don't hate myself anymore, and I know that if he comes home we can be stronger than we ever had a chance at before. We will have common ground and common wounds. I think understanding one another will be a good place to start rebuilding.
I am happy to answer any questions I am able about being a WAW as long as everyone understands that my answers are not universal. I suppose I can just give you a look inside my head and you can see if it applies.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
