working on me, this is an absolutely great post!
Originally Posted By: working on me
Be his rock, you are his mentor on what it is to be a man and to percervere. It is your unconditional love, strength, compassion, and wisdom that will get you and your children through this in the best way you can with the cards you all have been dealt.
It is our responsibilry to teach/mentor our chiildren to be ladies and gentlemen.
- to show them how to be Resouceful (how to find solutions to problems)
- Show them how to be Respectful
- How to build healthy and loving Relationships
= How to Regulate our/their emotions/feelings
- How to Rejoice in life/ modeling enthusiasm
You have been given two gifts every year for the last 6yrs and a gift for the last 10yrs. Congratulations on being a FATHER!

Gima, allow me to add something to working on me's superb post. It's what I told I told jtjuy last night as he was lamenting the prospect of being a "50%-of-the-time Dad"
Originally Posted By: Gardener
For what it's worth, today (after my first D 19 years ago and the resulting 50% time with my growing sons), the two closest, most affectionate and loving relationships I have in my life are with my sons, 31 & 34. I've had the same thing with StepSon for the past 18 years and although he is currently estranged from me, he'll be back.
50% of the time or not, - no, because of the 50% time - you must always be and model your very best each and every time you are with him and always remember: you're not raising a child, a boy, you're raising a man.

In my hardest fathering moments I would ask myself do I want to press this point, overreact, or whatever here, or do I want to remember that my main goal is to build two great relationships with functional independent men 20 or so years from now. I always chose the latter.

(gima, jtjuy needed to hear this next point, too. But you don't.)And now I'll tell you what I always told them, in this case re: your potential 50% fathering: "Don't tell me what you can't do because of...Tell me what you can do in spite of..."
Much will change in the coming months but gima the great, loving Dad won't be one of them.

Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac