Be his rock, you are his mentor on what it is to be a man and to percervere. It is your unconditional love, strength, compassion, and wisdom that will get you and your children through this in the best way you can with the cards you all have been dealt.
It is our responsibilry to teach/mentor our chiildren to be ladies and gentlemen. - to show them how to be Resouceful (how to find solutions to problems) - Show them how to be Respectful - How to build healthy and loving Relationships = How to Regulate our/their emotions/feelings - How to Rejoice in life/ modeling enthusiasm
We are so lucky to be parents!
That's a helluva post working on me! Thanks. And it's all so true!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Be his rock, you are his mentor on what it is to be a man and to percervere. It is your unconditional love, strength, compassion, and wisdom that will get you and your children through this in the best way you can with the cards you all have been dealt. It is our responsibilry to teach/mentor our chiildren to be ladies and gentlemen. - to show them how to be Resouceful (how to find solutions to problems) - Show them how to be Respectful - How to build healthy and loving Relationships = How to Regulate our/their emotions/feelings - How to Rejoice in life/ modeling enthusiasm You have been given two gifts every year for the last 6yrs and a gift for the last 10yrs. Congratulations on being a FATHER!
Gima, allow me to add something to working on me's superb post. It's what I told I told jtjuy last night as he was lamenting the prospect of being a "50%-of-the-time Dad"
Originally Posted By: Gardener
For what it's worth, today (after my first D 19 years ago and the resulting 50% time with my growing sons), the two closest, most affectionate and loving relationships I have in my life are with my sons, 31 & 34. I've had the same thing with StepSon for the past 18 years and although he is currently estranged from me, he'll be back. 50% of the time or not, - no, because of the 50% time - you must always be and model your very best each and every time you are with him and always remember: you're not raising a child, a boy, you're raising a man.
In my hardest fathering moments I would ask myself do I want to press this point, overreact, or whatever here, or do I want to remember that my main goal is to build two great relationships with functional independent men 20 or so years from now. I always chose the latter.
(gima, jtjuy needed to hear this next point, too. But you don't.)And now I'll tell you what I always told them, in this case re: your potential 50% fathering: "Don't tell me what youcan't do because of...Tell me what you can do in spite of..."
Much will change in the coming months but gima the great, loving Dad won't be one of them.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
In my hardest fathering moments I would ask myself do I want to press this point, overreact, or whatever here, or do I want to remember that my main goal is to build great relationships with functional independent adults 20 or so years from now. I always chose the latter.
Thank you for posting this Gardener.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
Thanks Guys, and Gals. There is so much comfort in knowing I can count on you to keep me straight and lift me up when I need it.
Today was better. I actually began feeling better as soon as STBX in-laws departed. And, in a way, that's sad b/c despite my STBX FIL's typical immature behavior, I actually got along with both my STBX in-laws very well. Strangely, they seemed more like an extra set of parents to me.
Was pretty busy today, and that's a very welcome thing. I feel stronger and more in control this week than last week. Last week was tough. But, I have accepted it for what it was, and will keep moving on.
