WAH in MLC with PA

[trustingfaith]

Look for names you recognized on the fan list (some use their BB names) and go from there.

[DiamondGirl]

I signed up as Diamonte Galla..

[trustingfaith]

I'm sure you will be "friended" soon by other fans.

[DiamondGirl]

As promised.. more drama!

WAH emailed me this morning asking if I read his revisions. I answered with "Yup" and he responded "AND?" so I replied "Not signing them" Well the sh&t hit the fan so to speak.. flurry of emails from him saying that if I didn't sign his version he would take me to court for full custody, that giving birth doesn't make me a mother, and that he would ask for half of everything incl the house (that he had already said he would sign over).

*sigh*

I just could not sign a document that allows him to leave the province whenever he wants without having a say in whether or not I consent to the trip.

I kept calm and didn't say anything nasty or such, didn't play his game, but it was surprisingly hard to stay that way...

Have the subsidy meeting this afternoon and an appt with a L tomorrow to find out my rights etc.

I so hate this...

[DiamondGirl]

An overwhelming sadness just came over me.. I'm trying hard not to lose it at work...

Emotionally I'm feeling very close to despair..

[trustingfaith]

DG,

So sorry you are feeling so sad. I know how you feel. We do cycle too. Even for me, almost a year post bomb and most of the time detached pretty well, I still have days/moments where it just overwhelms me. Just take it one day at a time and do what you need to do for yourself. Honestly, for me, just letting myself grieve and get it out with a good cry does help, but I know you are at work . . .

Hope your day gets better!

[DiamondGirl]

Thank you so much TF.

I had a really bad day yesterday... He got to me again and we ended up in a R exchange with him spewing and me jumping to the bait every time.

It's too painful for me to post what he said right now... I'll try tomorrow when I have had a bit of sleep (hopefully.. D3 is sick and kept me up most of last night) and a good bawling session or two...

Feeling even more like this is a hopeless sitch though my heart still keeps beating and hanging in there...

[Cadet]

Have you gone back on the alt to see if anyone else wants to be your friend. HINT HINT HINT!

[DiamondGirl]

LOL

Thanks for the hint.. I don't have internet at home right now but will by the end of the week... I usually sneak away to the local cafe and use theirs when I can (or the library's).

I am looking forward to connecting with as many of you as possible in "real time" and hopefully being as supportive to all of you as you have been to me...

[cat04]

I had a really bad day yesterday... He got to me again and we ended up in a R exchange with him spewing and me jumping to the bait every time.

It's too painful for me to post what he said right now...

This stuff does hurt.

This is one of the reasons we avoid R talks. Especially considering that in a few days, weeks, YOU will still remember what was said, and he probably won’t.

Taking the bait is a hard habit to break.

It can be done.

If you can recognize it before you open your mouth to react, then you will not always fall into the trap.

Eventually you will find that even if you do react, your reactions will be different than they would have been in the past.

Right now, if you can learn to validate his feelings, eventually it could make a difference in your communication.

As someone who recently had something validated to me, I can tell you, it broke down my anger and frustration and allowed a productive conversation to happen. (DB principals at work in any type of R LOL)

I am not saying that will happen with your H right away, but over time, it is possible. It has actually stopped many a not so pleasant conversation with my H as well.