Start of the end..

[iwantittowork]

Hey BJ, thanks for Checking in man, hope you are well..

Sad and frustrating but again there is nothing either of us can do to help our Ws.

True enough, and yes, my stbxw has been out shoe and cloth shopping. She came into our first court date in some really fine and nice spike high heel leather boots. In another dimension, I would have complimented her on them, but in IWITW's current world, not a chance. However, I still am letting her have to much room in my head, so still a work in progress..

Wanted to post some other stuff:

At times, we lbs get paid visit by o'dog's black dog, and he hops up for some attention and growls while doing so..

For me, it's every few weeks when I have to sit down and deal with the financial mess, and then pay for my stbxw's bills in 'our' old house. I have had to start fending off banks for payments now, and dealing with weekly calls from them, and wondering where I am going to get money to keep them at bay. I also look to my bank balance, and hope to have money to pay for groceries, and that my car doesn't break.

Having to live with the reality of someone else's decisions like this, is a time for that black dog to maul me, and tough to fend off...

It's a reminder to us all, that we are not 'rocks' but we are human, and we also have feelings and emotions that must be dealt with. We can DB as best we can, cope with the decisions we have in front of us.

We must accept these emotions, rather than suppress them, as these situations are not easy, are not totally of our making, and are certainly understandable given where we are.

Being mindfully aware of them, is the process to move through them. Understanding the thoughts that generate them help to become mindful of them, and allow them to exist without giving them destructive power over us.

Not every day will we be perfect, or perfectly mindful, but even that is a chance to be mindful with yourself, that you are human and not perfect, and accept your faults and feelings as part of who you are.

I hope to become better of mindfully managing these feelings, and in turn being a good role model to pass along to my d9.

I may not be perfect at it, but perfection is not the goal.

To steal line from Snarch, my goal is to:

"Tolerate discomfort for personal growth"