Yes, he can't be any more gone, other than being physically in my life due to the town and the house issue.
I HAVE accepted he is gone. I am not thinking anymore about what I do that will have an affect good or bad on him. I don't think I have posted anything to that effect? Only wanted to look good and confident if we had to meet for bills/taxes.
Taxes will all be done via email now, so there really will be no face to face for anything for the foreseeable future. Taxes, tenants,house--these are just physical realities that I have to deal with.
If I do the theatre thing, it will be to be part of a community project; to keep me busy; something I enjoy. It won't be because he will fall back in love with me once he sees my technical/design prowess.
OK--I am a strong, independent woman. I can't be any other way. I can work on projecting being happier and more positive--as taking a neg view of things is my normal mindset. I can actively work on my neg thoughts (have been working on that!) and putting out there a more positive Avermont. I don't want to be a fake Pollyanna--everyone knows Avermont as having a sharp and acerbic sense of humor--so I don't want to be fakey happy happy. But work on"if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything" I have been doing more of that lately.
And then I need some time and mindspace to really think about what I want to do with my life. Maybe I don't want to change anything, as I am pretty happy with job, friends, town. I just need to expand my circle of friends to get out of the couples world.
Keep the 2x4's coming.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
OK--I am a strong, independent woman. I can't be any other way. I can work on projecting being happier and more positive--as taking a neg view of things is my normal mindset. I can actively work on my neg thoughts (have been working on that!) and putting out there a more positive Avermont. I don't want to be a fake Pollyanna--everyone knows Avermont as having a sharp and acerbic sense of humor--so I don't want to be fakey happy happy. But work on"if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything" I have been doing more of that lately.
I think I have similar tendencies . But I'm realizing that I want to be more positive...for me. One cool way of working on that is the Complaint Free Challenge. I sucked at it and my bracelet actually broke before I completed the challenge . But I learned a lot while I was doing it and I would like to try it again. A lot of being positive or negative is just habit.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
X . UPS is still delivering your diabetic supplies. As you have not resided at this address for # of months I have decided that I will refuse the shipment. Make sure you have updated your current address with UPS.
Send it in email or writing
Next time one comes refuse it.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
CB, as X and I are about to go head to head on who gets the house, I just do not want to make it any bigger an issue for him about the fact he is not in the house.
I do not say this because I hope he will fall back in love with me if I don't push the "who has the house" button
The more he gets boxes and letters returned NOT AT THIS ADDRESS the deeper he will dig his heels in for getting the house.
In my heart, I feel the easiest, "best person I can be" thing to do would be to drop the box off at his office reception desk. I don't even have to see him.
I need to be able to get through the "who gets the house" issue as amicably and low on the stress scale as I can, for my peace of mind.
I was about to post a new question about my calling an AVERMONT NEXT STEPS summit meeting with my friends. I feel it is time for my physical life friends (as opposed to my virtual friends here) to give me some 2x4s, some straight shooting advice, and help in sorting through my options.
I'm a bit short on time, though.
And I wanted to know how CB is doing preparing for tonight's meeting.
Crisp white shirt ironed? new shoes polished?
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
Hi Aver, Just checking in on you today. I replied to you yesterday but on my post. Any hoo, you sound better today. I like the "real life" meeting idea.
You just got another blindsiding from BF, and those are pretty nasty. I think you're going uphill from here. You ARE a strong independent woman & you are going to be awesome! Fabulous!! Awesomely Fabulous!! You will figure it out, just not all at once.
I have an app't with a top lawyer tomorrow. She is the woman who successfully brought VTs civil union law into being! how she is taking the time to meet with little old me, I can't imagine.
I also don't imagine I can afford her.
She did say very matter of factly that if it goes to court, the judge will just have us sell to a 3rd party, which is alright with me.
I then spoke with another lawyer, and mentioned my fear that X would move into the apt. as soon as it is available. She said that it is possible to get a "temporary ownership" or something like that, such that I would have control over renting the apartments.
It is just so sad to be in a place where I am going to lawyers and talking trash about my X--talking about OW, and affairs, and moving into apts. out of vengeance! When did my perfectly quiet, respectable, decent, moral life become a trailer trash soap opera? This is so not us. So not me.
Well, clarity about my options will help a lot.
A friend is helping me tonight with sorting out the Quicken joint account/taxes thing, so X won't think I am a total idiot in dealing with the house/apts.
On on.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
. But I learned a lot while I was doing it and I would like to try it again. A lot of being positive or negative is just habit.