Just thought I would check in and give an update. NC has been hard, but getting easier everyday. As a matter of fact, I feel as though it has been the best thing that ever happened to me as far as detaching. I kept wondering when this wonderful world of "detachment" would truly show itself. There were up and down days for sure, but when you know, you just know. I have gotten to a point where I realized that with or without my husband, life does go on. Don't get me wrong, I miss my H dearly, but the pain and the anger is dwindling away. As a matter of fact, I feel like my eyes have been opened to the world again and there is life outside of taking care of my H needs and not neglecting my own. I will see what happens in the days to come, but the desperation has worn off. Yesterday, H stopped by to get some things and help out cleaning the yard (house is on the market). I hadn't seen him or spoken to him in a couple of weeks. He was a bit annerved I had taken down all of our pictures and wedding momentos, but I didn't want to look at them anymore. I told him that our realtor told me to "de-clutter" the home of personal items such as this to increase the chances of selling. Good idea for both the sale of the house and my mental well being!! H also told me that he got a new tattoo (looks like a prison tattoo if you ask me, but who am I to judge). He left with things in hand and I was unphased and continued on with my day. Before, this scene (as he had done this a few times) cut like a knife. Now, I know that I can handle my life and myself regardless of the outcome and the "walk away" doesn't hurt anymore.
