OK. So we have a another talk(Sat) and I think things have really opened up.
#1 She wanted to talk this over herself - she initiated the conversation here after a very stressful day. #2 She wants to go to Relate.
That's the minor stuff(!). The major stuff was that she wants me to be in control, lay down guidelines etc. Which is a LOT more in terms of leadership than I thought - we're on the doorstep to the taken-in-hand type of relationship. This seems to be a very big 180 on both our parts. Could be interesting.
We've also agreed that we need to finish off parts of the house that are persistent stressors (bathroom\windows etc). Children have been ordered to *not* barge into our bedroom without knocking.
