First, I just want to say how much it means for me to be on here again and that you have taken your time to talk with me. I have a hard time talking with my family about this now. As much as they are in support of me, I think they also can only handle so much and I already feel like and incredible burden.
Second, I would like to add to the novel:
- so I filed for divorce on May 6th. 2009 - On the day I filed for divorce I was in my lawyers office when he called my wife to tell her that I would be filing and that she could not leave to go anywhere whith the boys. My older son was at my parents house and my younger son was with her at her daycare buisness. Well she flipped out and hung up on the lawyer. My lawyer told me to go emediately to the bank and take out a few thousand dollers. We only had a few thousand, so I took half. I then went to my parents house, where I was called by the respondent wanting to know where older son was and that I was to bring him to here right now. By the way she was screaming and swearing at me the whole time. I told her that I would be bringing him home in about an hour and would pick up a pizza. She screamed at me and told me she would be moving her mom into the house until she moved out. Yeah! A few minutes later my lawyer calls me to see if everything is ok because my wife had called his office and yelled at them and hung up and then her mom did the same. He then advised me to not go home that night and that my son and I would be better off if we let her cool off for one night. I was concerned for my younger son, but I knew she wouldn't hurt him.
The next day my son and I retuned to the house. Upon walking in the door I was greeted by my mohter in law video taping me. She proceded to follow me through the house. I went into my room and found that it had been torn apart and things of mine were taken.
For the next ten days it went like that. I found out that the reason for the video taping of me was to try and build some case that I was going to freak out and they needed to record it. You see her the respondent changed tactics at that point and began to try and paint me as an abuser that she was afraid of. That's how she justified her mom being in the house.
- May 16th. 2009. she moves out of our family home while the boys were with me. The boys and I came home to an empty house. If I had not thought ahead and prepared for the possibility that she might take everything, we wouldn't even have had pots and pans to cook with. The house was empty! That was hard to explain to my sons.
- At that point I had no job nor the money to get a place to live. In addition, Our house was supposed to be vacated completely on that day. I stayed for two more weeks. One night a man knocked on the door and I was served with a three day notice to vacate the house, The boys watched. Another night, while sitting on the living room floor the man came again to serve me eviction paper, but I didn't answer the door. I had to tell the boys to be quiet so that he would not know we were in the house. That sucked!
- June 1st. I moved into my fathers house. I have been here since, thank GOD!
- she also tried to screw me out of fathers day weekend. She told the little men that they didn't have to spend fathers day with me if they didn't want to.
- June 22 was our first court date. She was ordered to pay me 1800 a month in spousel support and we were to share custody of our sons pending a custody evaluation.
In her papers she claimed that I was verbally and emotionally abusive to her and our sons. That I was to harsh with my sons and had to high of expectations of them. She said she was afraid for them when they were with me and wanted full physical custody of them. This was her stategy.
I was terified! Her claims were so untrue that it shocked me to my core. My family who had watched us and made their opinion of our relationship and us as parents were also shocked. There characterization was that I was somewhat if not totally whipped and that she ordered me around essentially. As for being a father, they said that I was one of the most kind and attentive fathers they had observed. (now this is my family,so it must be taken with a grain of salt.)
- One week after being ordered to pay me family support the respondents lawyer files a moting for relief from paying any support to me, claiming hardship and that her buisness was not making ecough money.
- She didn't provide any money for over a month and when she did it was for 500 bucks, not the 1800 ordered.
- Mid July the custody evaluation occurs. - this consisted of my going alone to speak with the evaluator for one hour. In which, I essentially told her my side of the story of how we got here and how important my role as a father was to me. - she had a meeting with the evaluator as well. - then I took the little men to see the evaluator and then the respondent did as well.
- August: - Finally get back the evaluation for custody. The evaluator characterized me as being intelectual and therough. She felt that the little men were slightly more affectionate with her than with me, but they were more respectful and well behaved with me than with her. She said that the respondent and somewhat trouble controling the little men and seemed stressed.
Since then we have gone to court a several times. It was determined that we should share legal and physical custody. THIS WAS BY FAR THE MOST IMPORTANT AD MEANINGFUL NEWS I HAVE HAD AlL YEAR. My sons mean everything to me. I am a family man's family man. I love being a father!!!!!!!!
I filed three counts of contempt of court against her for not paying the court ordered family support as well as not paying for the CPA to evaluated the buisness.
Unfortunately her strategy to not pay me and let the buisness go to hell paid off. The family support was decreased from 1800/month to 250/month. She was to begin paying me this amount in October. Since then she has paid a total 240 back in Nov. and 100 on Friday.
NOW I HAVE MORE TO ADD ABOUT THE TOLL ON MY SONS AND WHAT SHE HAS PUT THEM THROUGH. AS WELL AS HER CAMPAIN OF PARENTAL ALIENATION THAT SHE CONTIUES TO USE ON THEM.
ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE FOR ME! I HOPE I CAN RETURN IT TO YOU SOMEHOW.
