Is my wife a WAW or is this a MLC? thx2brs

[kjensen]

AYK-
It does seem looking back that things in our marriages might have been really great from our perspective..right up until the bomb was dropped.

You've posted a lot... so just some thoughts...Putting things into perspective or a timeline can be helpful to look at your marriage more objectively..but don't stop there. Really look at what was good that you contributed and what was not-so-good and start there to work on yourself.

I'm going to be a good man, no doubt about that, it's sunday at noon, son's happy, haven't texted D this wkend, she can come to me and no contact, hardly a thought about the nut.

Just because you don't hear from your kids(D) when they aren't with you, doesn't mean you can't text them a "I'm thinking of you" or "Miss you" or "How's your day going?" ..just a little something to let them know you are thinking about them when you aren't with them...it'll keep the lines open for when they are ready for more communication. Don't go dim/dark on the kids...the need to know you are there 24/ for them...figure out a way to show them that.

At some point, hopefully, the thoughts of your wife will become less consuming..the focus in your head will be more on you and what you need to do and where you want to go/be in the future..what kind of life do YOU want? and how do you get it?
Its a mental shift..doesn't happen overnight(at least not for me)..but work on it daily and it will come.