All the hiding and later wanting to give my full attention to the lover and not my family. Neither my family nor my lover had me fully.
The worst was falling in love with the mistress. I loved this woman. I was giving her the love and sex that she desperately wanted. (Only a desperate woman messes around with a married man.) She hoped she could win me over, get me to leave my wife. She almost did. I was separated and filing for divorce a one point.
Then somehow my wife was shocked into action. We counseled our way back and had a sex life again. I dropped the divorce.
The worst thing I had to do in my whole life was to call my mistress and tell her it was over for us. I broke this woman's heart. I was also ripping my wife's heart apart. I could only have ONE. I could not live a double-life and have fulfillment at the same time. My woman needed all of my focus.
I was you too. I'm not preaching, just telling you my story and how I woke up from living this way. There was no "approve of" about it. I wanted the real deal, real love and I was not getting it with an affair.
Listen to DQ as I have. Decide what you want in life and live it fully. Sneaking around is not living. Even openly having sex on the side isn't living fully with passion.
Check out David Deida's - The Way of the Superior Man it may open your eyes as it has for me.
