So I went out with my cousin for coffee - from 8 to 3pm at Tim Hortons, not a bar...
I got home and my wife was waiting like a parent waiting for a bad kid. I told her the truth, I thought it was around 11 when I left, not 2:30! I haven't done that for a few years, and even then only rarely.
She felt that this was bad because I have to be home. I skirted the issue, and went to check my email and watch a TV show. She decided to sleep in the kids room.
Normal? Was it unfair/bad to stay out?
WTH!!! She is saddled with 5 kids! This is more than a full time job!! And you had coffee for five hours and lost track of time?! Did you let her know you were going out for coffee? Does she ever get time to do enjoyable events for herself?
Then- you, yes, YOU made it worse but not addressing her upset when you came home. Instead you skirted the issue and avoided her. How would this improve anything?
You should have apologized. Told her you know she works so hard taking care of all these kids and want to MAKE IT UP TO HER. Then you ask, how can I make this up for you? You express that you UNDERSTAND (You do understand, right? you were disrespectful to her and self-indulgent).
Then you go do you own thing again- checking your email and watching a tv show- INSTEAD you should have helped her around the house or help with the 5 kids you have. Again- maintaining a house with 5 kids and caring for them is a LOT of work.! Selfish! Do you not understand how much work she does?
I don't know how involved you are with the housework and kids- maybe you do a lot- I have no idea. What I am reading is not so go though.
Actually this entire event could have been avoided if you had made mutual plans with your wife beforehand and then kept track of time. ie. "Wife I am planning on having coffee with my cousin at so-so time. Does that work well for you? Can I pick you something up on the way back? I will be gone for 2 hours." If she has an issue you offer up compromises.
Did you read- "his needs, her needs" yet?
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
