Thanks all it went fine. As I was driving home with S to meet H I thought, I wish H would have dinner ready for us - of course he won't that' "my job" as housewife. H was cooking dumplings when I arrived! It was nice.
H is putting S down now. I don't know how to act toward H. Same up and down. On the one hand, we seem to be making progress in the calm communication end. On the other hand there's this whole weekend mystery thing that I'm trying not to feel rejected by. I just don't know whether to be normal and hang out iwth him or be distant.
But as for my mood, I arrived "as if". It's a big 180 for me not to come at him with all my pent up feelings! Not that H will notice. He's stone cold.
We have MC tomorrow and I'm supposed to bring up how hurt I feel by his anger. I'm scared to death.
I feel like I have lived a long time out of fear of his anger - whether conscious or not. I make too many decisions based on this. Time to be brave and do what is right for me.
