Not Me Ever...part 3

[Gardener]

(((Friends))))

I love coming in and seeing that I have been a little drop in the help bucket for some Always

I spoke to my son today via text after Church and he was telling me he went to Church with his Dad and it was amazing...That sounds promising

I will admit that did upset me because I also took him to Chrch and he hated it - Then again H goes to a "feel good" Church and I go to an old fashioned one. Maybe son needs to "feel good" right about now. And who's to say what church or whose message will resonate with someone deep inside.

He told me the OW doesn't come around very often and she doesn't live there.
Well, that's good.
That didn't make me feel any better because the way I see it, if things aren't that damn rosy with her then why is he still over there and not here with his family that loves him?I would think you'd be glad OW isn't there much. He's there because something in him need a change. or a comparison. Be patient.I'm assuming you're talking about Son, here.
If you meant H, save it, there is no rhyme nor reason.

I was reading a book that someone recommended to me and within the first 2 chapters I was in tears upon realizing that it was me in a nutshell. Ack - Stupid rollercoaster...What's the book?

Took the little one to Church with me today and he was awesome seeing as there wasn't children's Church today however it pained me to see him hugging any male that spoke to him...Probably just getting his male affection needs met.

Once the service was over he couldn't get to the Pastor fast enough and then didn't want to leave his side.How nice. My youngest used to do that almost every week. And asked questions about the sermon, which thrilled the pastor no end!

That is heartbreaking to me because I don't know how to be a Father to him..Nor can you, nor could you, nor should you. Just continue to be the very best Mom you can be. That's what he needs most from you and is probably what The Lord wants you to do most right now..

His Dad is incapable of seeing him more then 3 hours a month - 3 WHOLE FRIGGEN HOURS...I know this one hurts perhaps more than all the rest, but you have to let it go for now. It Is.

And he is just searching for any man who is kind to him.Good for him. What an astute young man to be that attuned to his feelings and needs.

I have enough trouble making myself better -How can I help my little one?By making yourself better. And you've been doing a great job at this.

How can I answer the questions he has when I don't know the answers myself? Tell him you don't know the answers. Yet.
But together the two of you will probably figure some of them out.

Other then that, it was a good day -

We had lunch after Church and then we were carless so we hung out here.

I am still thankful as well as hopeful however I will admit that the more time goes forward the more I question what I am doing therefore I question my sanity decisions.

((((Hugs))))) To you.