feel like giving up - talk to me!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

yes, finding a date on this site is totally not the purpose of this site. that's why they don't allow people to post contact information on here. Plus, again, when we don't learn from our messes from our M, we will only take those problems into the next M, no matter WHO we get with. Even from here. And all of us on here have problems, otherwise we wouldn't be here. Not saying that our spouses don't, but it always works both ways.

ST- I think about what you've been through all the time and how I can apply that to my situation. I just don't know if my H loves me anymore - that is the difference between yours and my situation. Your H still loved you.

I'm not sure why you think my H still loved me. Everything about our situation told me he DIDN'T, even ever. The woman he had an A with was a woman he dated before me, not just some fling that normally happens, and he thought was his soul mate. He also said everything that your husband has said to you.

fyi, when we got together, I never thought he truly loved me. We had a child out of wedlock, and were engaged for like 4 years. We could have been M way before that, but I know he was draggin his feet and wasn't really IN love with me, but was doing the right thing.

So ALL these things petrified me because unlike most people, the girl he was with, he already loved, but something happened and they broke it off (I believe it was due to a move). plus the fact that she looks like a porn star. So, believe me, your H is no different than mine, and everything he is doing, is by the book.

so, like I said, start focusing on you, and not on what he is doing. I told you it would get worse, and it is. It is very very possible that he is having an A, maybe just an EA, or even a PA. But the fact that he kissed you still makes me have that doubt that maybe he hasn't. My H didn't want to come near me for quite a while.

Please expect him to be confusing, it is a good thing, it means he's not totally done and isn't totally with someone else. My H was. But because he is confused, it means that he does still have love for you, and he doesn't know what he wants, and he is just thinking that things can't ever be better and that things will never change. That's why YOU have to SHOW him that it CAN change. and do what I said before.

if your listening, the start putting what you are learning into action. just listening will not get you anywhere if you don't put action to it.

we love you and want you to save your M, and I still believe you can have a beautiful M, but you have to do the work, and that work is really about saving YOU, so start focusing on YOU.