I love coming in and seeing that I have been a little drop in the help bucket for some
I spoke to my son today via text after Church and he was telling me he went to Church with his Dad and it was amazing...
I will admit that did upset me because I also took him to Chrch and he hated it - Then again H goes to a "feel good" Church and I go to an old fashioned one.
He told me the OW doesn't come around very often and she doesn't live there.
That didn't make me feel any better because the way I see it, if things aren't that damn rosy with her then why is he still over there and not here with his family that loves him?
I was reading a book that someone recommended to me and within the first 2 chapters I was in tears upon realizing that it was me in a nutshell. Ack - Stupid rollercoaster...
Took the little one to Church with me today and he was awesome seeing as there wasn't children's Church today however it pained me to see him hugging any male that spoke to him...
Once the service was over he couldn't get to the Pastor fast enough and then didn't want to leave his side.
That is heartbreaking to me because I don't know how to be a Father to him...
His Dad is incapable of seeing him more then 3 hours a month - 3 WHOLE FRIGGEN HOURS...
And he is just searching for any man who is kind to him.
I have enough trouble making myself better -
How can I help my little one?
How can I answer the questions he has when I don't know the answers myself?
Other then that, it was a good day -
We had lunch after Church and then we were carless so we hung out here.
I am still thankful as well as hopeful however I will admit that the more time goes forward the more I question what I am doing therefore I question my sanity.
Sidenote - Gardener...The OW will always be troll to me (you may know her as fat-troll since that is what I started out calling her). However that isn't very nice nor does God like that so for now I have narrowed it down to troll until I can fully forgive her and once that happens, she will no longer rent space within me.
((((Hugs)))))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
However that isn't very nice nor does God like that so for now I have narrowed it down to troll until I can fully forgive her and once that happens, she will no longer rent space within me. 
