DW, Its good to hear from you, sorry it is been tough the last couple of days. When is the last time you had a break? I mean from the kids from the sitch, everything? Have you ever thought about asking her to take to kids for some extra days and you just go somewhere, anywhere, just get out of the house and away. God knows you deserve it, and there is no way she could argue with it.
I try not to beat myself up for loving my wife still, I read recently that the love never dies even if we remarry and are happy the rest of our lives. The love of your spouse ususally carries to the grave, that is not to say you have to be misrable but it does require detatchment. I think loving your wife despite what she has done is admirable and something to be proud of and you certainly have the respect of me and everyone else on these boards.
I have had a pretty bad day today myself but I know when I wake up tomorrow it is a new day and another chance to start something new or just get a fresh start. I have positives everyday, sometimes I just have to remind myself of them.
Just 30 minutes ago, my D13 got a call from the coach of the girls school soccer team, She made the TEAM!!! only 16 out of 62 girls made it and she is on top of the world!!! I haven't seen her smile like that since last summer!!
The other huge positive is that my S9 made the A-B honor role for the 2 grading period in a row. Through all this crap my son's grades have actually improved!!! He is so proud of himself and it gives him such confidence.
The positives are there, sometimes they are in your face and other times we have to hunt around for them.
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
