Need Help Fast Please..............

[Gardener]

ytjuy,

Which is a whole other issues, I am really feeling pissy about how this will effect him for the rest of his life. Also, selfishly I am upset b/c I do not want to only be around for 50% of my sons growing up.

For what it's worth, today (after my first D 19 years ago and the resulting 50% time with my growing sons), the two closest, most affectionate and loving relationships I have in my life are with my sons, 31 & 34. Had the same thing with StepSon for the past 18 years and although he is currently estranged from me, he'll be back.
50% of the time or not, - no, because of the 50% time - you must always be and model your very best each and every time you are with him and always remember: you're not raising a child, a boy, you're raising a man.

In my hardest fathering moments I would ask myself do I want to press this point, overreact, or whatever here, or do I want to remember that my main goal is to build two great relationships with functional independent men 20 or so years from now. I always chose the latter.

And now I'll tell you what I always told them, in this case re: your potential 50% fathering: "Don't tell me what you can't do because of...Tell me what you can do in spite of..."

You can do it.

At a minimum I think she owes me a real explanation and an admission of the A and OM.

You'll never, never get this. And if you do, it won't be true; it will be a history rewrite.

I have again seen pictures, texts, e-mails, notes, cars parked in each others driveways, my W panties rolled into a sandwich bag and stuffed into her purse, and worse....I am 100% sure that she is having an A I have called her on it and the evidence and she still denies it to me.

Cheaters LIE. Cheaters OBFUSCATE. Cheaters RATIONALIZE. Get it through your head.