I'm one of those with the negative comments... So BTM... it appears as if you have learned nothing... and this is the second time around.
She was dangling her bait to see if you were still hanging around while she's out there doing whatever the heck she is doing for as long as she feels like doing it. A phrase that seems ideal for you... "A deer caught in the headlights."
Stop being played for a fool. You are the same BTM whose W accused him of sexual abuse, right? I can just imagine the expression on your face when she accuses you of groping her inappropriately in the near future...
Honestly, I don't know what kind of game you're playing here BTM... because what you are doing does not seem in the least like DB'ing to me.
What the heck do I make of this and where do I go from here????
She wants to know if you're still attracted to her.
Puppy
I thinks that's part of it Puppy. During our entire relationship, she often thought I only wanted her for her physical assets. Then I completely shut that down for a few months and just maybe she misses that.....and maybe she just needed to touch and be touched.
ARE you the poster whose wife accused you of sexual abuse? I had forgotten about that. If that's true, then I would NOT advocate, under any circumstances, taking the bait she is dangling.
I think you are thinking of Gardener. Is there some reason you would not have sex with your wife if you both want it? In my case, sex was what kept us from getting divorced. It was a foundation that we could rebuild the rest of the relationship on.
Yes, that's me. And in reality, I did violater her. Please go back and read the early pages of this thread for details.
I think it's possible that the time apart has allowed my WAW to heal from that experience that occured almost a year ago. Puppy - why would she be dangling this bait? What alterior motive could she have?
Is it attractive to a woman for her husband to behave as if he is not worthy of being sexual with her? How does being a non sexual/ sensual human being show any slef confidence? How is ignoring your wife's sexual desires acting "as if"?
It seems to me that there is some clashing of db principles here.
I can't answer your questions just from a "philosophical" standpoint. If it were me, and my wife had accused me of that (and I do remember your sitch, and I happen to disagree with her sincerity about how "traumatized" she claims to be), I wouldn't come within ten feet of her until she had either recanted the charges, or we had had some SERIOUS joint counseling with a qualified counselor to help us come to some sort of resolution on the issue.
Your wife seems to use sex as a weapon, both defensively and offensively. I think there are deeper issues there than "to DB or not to DB."
