She responded rather promptly. And initially she asked what my H would say if she sent him a copy. I responded (maybe I shouldn't have) that he would probably stick to whatever story he already told her, and that what he says to me is irrelevant. I wanted to be sure she knew and now she does. She responded once more that she had known all along and that she will support him in whatever choices he makes about his life and love.
Until she e-mailed back I seriously wondered if I was going to throw up. I hate not knowing what is happening or what will happen. The devil I know and all that. But once I said it to her it was easier to believe - what he thinks of me contacting her is totally inconsequential, and so is she. He should be ashamed of what he is doing to our family, and if he doesn't want people to know then too bad. I'm not going to tell everyone I can think of, but neither am I going to wallow in loneliness while he gets to have his fun.
So now it's time to hook up my printer and send off the letter to her parents. I know in advance that they may not care, but IMO they do deserve to know what kind of man is involved with their daughter. And he should know that I will expose him to whatever extent I deem necessary.
I am contacting Army One Source in the next few weeks. Like blue said they offer counseling services and can get me in touch with a lawyer. I will write up as many questions for him or her as I can think of (do tell me if there's anything you think I should ask!). I will emphasize that I don't want to divorce my H, but that I simply want to know my rights and options.
I also want to speak with his commander, unofficially if possible. I want to know what they will do to him if I take this further, and if the no contact order they would slap on him would also cost him rank. He is about to be promoted to Sgt. and we could use the extra money. But if they promote him just to demote him again we can still live on this pay. And it would be an ironic slap in the face - "Here's your new rank, congratulations. Oh, and by the way, you totally screwed up so now we're busting you back down. And knock it off or this only gets worse."
So I am calmer now. And rational/logical. Going to start reading DB again after the kiddos go to bed. And I got six more boxes emptied and their contents put away (or at least in the right rooms) since my earlier post. Yay for getting things done!
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
Yay for getting things done!