Excellent Puppy, thanks for catching this for me... I was in a panic when i saw the original post, you read my mind.. or I am reading yours... lol
I totally agree wtih this strategy.
The strategy is to be mature and civil but... the boundaries are
1. No cheating 2. No lying
If ANY of that is going to happen then END the meeting and leave... don't say ANYTHING... tell him you will HEAR what he has to say, but DON'T let him bait you into an argument... i am a bit worried that's exactly what's going t happen
The risk here is mb28 that he is TESTING you to see if YOU are worth staying with... so he calls these silly meetings and if you do ANYTHING aggressive or immature he will just conclude HE is in the right and will continue with his affair.
He's testing you... so you need to set an example of civility and maturity that will shock him into following your lead.
The problem is his affair is putting you under an unGODLY amount of stress so its an unfair test... but he'll do it anyhow.
You need to stay strong, distant, and civil... but do not tolerate any back door games or childish nonsense... if he tries that, just treat him like the five year old he's acting like and walk out on him - effectively you are giving him a TIME OUT until he starts behaving like an adult.
I am not sure why you agreed to the meeting in the first place, i would never let him call the shots on meetings.. i would give him a time and place when its convenient for YOU and let HIm choose to come or not... don't let him LEAD this... if you let HIM LEAD this its going into chaos... he has no idea what he's doing... YOU need to call the meetings, times, and places...
Civil, but don't run to him like a lost pet or he'll walk all over you... think of him as a new dangerous animal in your home... you need to assert yourself or he will ruin your home.
