A "get well" card is a common courtesy, as is answering people when they are speaking to you.
Detaching doesn't mean "being an ass."
You are swinging wildly from one extreme to the other. Treat her like you would a roommate, or the mail carrier. That's a good rule-of-thumb (would you not respond to the mail carrier if she was speaking to you?).
I think the card is okay, but nothing mushy or romantic -- just a simple acknowledgment.
Puppy
Gotcha puppy. and yeah I am swinging from one ot the other. could that be considered a 180 though...or as you put it, is it just being an ass?
I guess if I dont respond to her...that is a way of showing my emotions as well...showing anger/frustration/sour grapes.
And as far as the card goes, I should just sign my name, not sign it "Love, (my name)"? I always sign my cards to her with "Love,"...but that would be mushy/romantic, right?
Don't overthink everything. That doesn't mean that you throw caution to the wind and act recklessly but there is nothing wrong with exchanging common courtesies in a normal way. The "LBS" must proceed carefully but not become paranoid abut every little word or gesture.
Don't obssess over the sitch or your feelings. If you feel that you will fly off the handle with your W or act out of emotion, imagine that you are in a meeting with an important client or your boss. As much as you would love to, you cannot say what you want to or act the way you would like to. Exercise the same self control here.
I will try to be more cordial when she comes over tomorrow.
I'm feeling very weak right now...I really want to message, email, or call her to ask for forgiveness for what I did Friday.
I know that thats pursuing though...but it keeps eating at me that she said I had a chance and blew it. It makes me think if she forgives me for what I did Friday, maybe we can get back on the track of reconciliation.
But I know if she's still mad at me, which is likely, then she'll just say no.
I dunno maybe I can try and talk to her about it tomorrow when she comes to get our daughter. Even that feels like it would be wrong though...like she'll hear what I have to say but just turn around and give me the "we're done you blew it" speech again.
How do the rest of you make it through the days not having contact with your W/H/SO? It hasnt been much more than a day and can't stop feeling the need to contact her and apologize...essentially begging.
This is why I keep messing up. I have little to no self-discipline...and I'm never sure of myself.
Anyone have ideas on what I can do...to either resist contacting her, or to formulate an apology that might have a chance of getting her forgiveness?
You have already asked for forgiveness, right? So why do you keep bringing it up? This self-flagellation is NOT attractive to her, and it's NOT effective.
And you know it.
If you feel badly about it, then God has forgiven you. Whether SHE forgives you is out of your control.
My SO just called on the phone. She wanted to say goodnight to our D. While I could have been an ass and said that wasnt medically relevant, I was very polite and told her sure. When she was done she even said thank you and I said you're welcome.
Of course now that she called I'm wishing the call would have lasted longer.
My SO just sent me a text message asking if her tax form came in the mail.
This is so unfair. How come she can call me about or ask anything she wants and I have to respond but she flips my own boundary around on me and says she isnt going to talk about anything with me other than my daughter?
If I sent her any sort of message I can guarantee it would be ignored or I'd get a bad attitude response.
Maybe I cant read anything into it, but is she violating the boundary she set up? Could this possibly mean she will soften?
My SO just called on the phone. She wanted to say goodnight to our D. While I could have been an ass and said that wasnt medically relevant, I was very polite and told her sure. When she was done she even said thank you and I said you're welcome.
