I just want to note a real breakthrough at least from my perspective.

This morning we were suppose to have our "sensate focus exercise with negotiated back massage." It didn't happen, but that is OK.

Last night we had some real time to relax and reconnect. We talked a lot. Earlier in the day, I had done the laundry, the dishes and some other things around the house. These were things that she was fretting over having to do when she got back late at night from a conference. I was away much of the day at a memorial service for someone I knew. On the way home I picked up some good red wine and a bottle of brandy.

When we both got home, we talked about some of our readings from the sex therapist. I poured my wife a glass of brandy and we talked some more. There were two articles in particular that we talked most about. The first was about interjecting humor and playfulness into our relationship. We both said that this was something we each wanted to do and work on. The second article included a segment on kissing. I told my wife that I would like to kiss her. She talked to me and then asked me if I was serious. I told her yes I was.

Later that night after she turned out the lights. we hugged each other and I rubbed her neck and shoulders. We actually joked about the sounds her sinuses make when I flex certain neck muscles. After laughing, she asked if I would still like to kiss her. I said I really wanted to and we kissed (closed lips). After a few minutes it became french kissing. After a while longer it became kissing and hugging and foreplay....and then......intercourse.

Our marital 5 months without sex ended last night. We hugged each other and cuddled most of the night. It felt so special.

I feel really re-connected to my wife, for the moment. This morning we drank coffee and read the Sunday newspaper together, then we went out for breakfast. After breakfast we went for a hike at a local park. We talked a lot during breakfast and on our hike.

Hopefully we can keep the connection going without pushing and hopefully, my wife can open up to me. I told her that I still owe her a back massage from this morning and she needs to collect it anytime she feels tired.

Life is good. (I feel like purchasing two Valentine's Day presents, one for my wife and one for our sex therapist.)




>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.