Dropped off H today so he can go to his month-long school. Lots of mixed feelings here. On the one hand I am sad to send him off again. I'm so sick of it. Half my marriage has been spent separated from him anyway.
And that is why I also feel some relief. I am more used to coping all by myself, so having him gone is normal. Having pretty much no help is a royal pain, but at least I know what to expect.
And I can re-read DB and plan my strategy moving forward. The only electronic device he was allowed to take was his phone. So he can call her, but no IMing all night or FB postings for a whole month. Maybe she'll "cheat" on him and move on in that time. Probably wishful thinking, but hey, a girl can dream right?
I won't call him. I didn't even really tell him goodbye. He hugged the boys and then we had to leave while he was loading up his gear because S4 had a bathroom situation. At least it saved us from an awkward public situation. People would have found it strange if there was no affection (there hasn't been pretty much since he went to school in June) between us. Hopefully he will want to talk to us, but whether he does or not is pretty much irrelevant. The boys and I have to get used to being on our own for awhile...again.
I would love a new tattoo, and my H would have an absolute fit if I wasted money on one. Speaking of money, he finally brought up his cryptic comment about the tax money. it wasn't what I feared, but he is an idiot anyway. He wants to buy a new rifle that costs $1,600. OK, #1 we don't need it, #2 I am not allowed to reside in a home with guns (from the going to jail thing before; check out my original thread for details). So he will have to store it at the gun club. But seriously, what a waste of money all around.
Yes, he is still in daily contact with her. Idiot has a separate ringtone for her on his phone and it's so obvious when she calls and texts. He doesn't answer, but I can see it on his face. Plus he answers anyone else.
I am sending the OW this e-mail today:
You may have noticed me as one of the Facebook friends H has. I see that you consider him very special and that the two of you are romantically involved. He came to see you in Virginia, after all.
Are you aware that he is married and has been for going on six years? His, or should I say our, anniversary is June 26th. We have three sons, ages 4, 2, and 1. H is my husband. We are not separated, divorced, or even sleeping apart regardless of what he may have told you.
He says you know all this. But I thought that you at least deserve the benefit of a doubt. If you did not know, then I bear you no ill will. If you did know, well I’m sure he’s told you about my many failings and I’m in no position to judge your choices. But he is my husband. And your relationship with him while he is still married is not only inappropriate, it could cost him his job and land him in jail.
I'm also sending her parents a similar letter in the mail. It may do nothing but irritate my H, but I will feel I am taking proactive steps. She'll even be likely to tell him about my e-mail tonight. If he calls to confront me I am not answering his calls tonight. And if he gets mad in the next couple days I will just validate his feelings and assert my right to inform and expose this A for what it is. If he is ashamed to have his actions known, maybe he should think about why.
This month my goals are:
1. lose 10 pounds. Nothing like a sexy wife waiting when you get home to make you think.
2. Finish unpacking and organizing the house.
3. Get some pictures of my new home (both the house and the surrounding scenery) to show my family and friends.
Wish me luck!
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
