Another point to make here, this IC sounds like a real tool.
"Controlling and Manipulative" -- is this for real?
Control is NOT a bad word, the opposite is OUT of control, which isn't much fun either.
Your marriage and this other marriage ARE OUT of control... you are trying to get them UNDER control again... But for some reason this IC feels this is a bad thing... lets let two marriages run amock unchecked and unmanaged for years while the Abandoned Spouse in both marriages feel increasingly anxious and depressed... sure.. just leave that alone and let it run its course...
What on earth is this IC thinking?
not your place? Sure, its not your place, but the WS isn't telling his wife now his he? SOMEONE SHOULD I agree... and it should'nt be you no.. but NO ONE ELSE IS DOING IT.
If something NEEDS to be done, and the person who is accountable isn't doing it.. you either do it yourself or suffer... my vote is that YOU do it yourself...
This IC has no right to press values on people like this... this IC should lose their license in my opinion... encouraging affairs to continue with "its not your place" BS... Someone is being LIED to and MANIPULATED when they are the abandoned spouse of an affair.. did the IC not bother to acknowledge that?
Sure, manipulation is bad... and affairs are manipulative... so put a stop to them.
This is old school thinking that affairs should just quietly continue in the dark so the boat doesn't get rocked... this was the thinking back in the 60's and 70's and even into the 80's. Marriage science has gone a lot further since then on the subject of infidelity ...
The conclusion?
Infidelity destroys homes, families, and each of their occupants and should not be allowed to happen or continue.
Stop them as soon as possible - period.
This IC really is just pulling BS out of their butt in my opinion... have they quoted any academic sources as a reference for their position?
Ask them where they are getting their advice from. WE on THIS forum can reference up to date literature in the field of marriage science to back up our claims... if this IC can't... they're a HACK and should be put out of business... shut them down and then shut the affair down.
